IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have joined a sports club recently. You are having some problems. Write to the manager and include this information. 1)Explain why you joined this club 2)Tell your problems 3)Give solutions

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my concerns about some problems I have experienced since joining your sports club recently. I decided to join the club because I wanted to improve my fitness, maintain a healthy lifestyle and make better use of my free time. I was
particilarly
Correct your spelling
particularly
 attracted by the range of sports facilities and convenient opening hours advertised when I enrolled.
However
Linking Words
, I encountered a few issues.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some of the equipment- particularly the
tredmills
Correct your spelling
treadmills
 and
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 bikes are out of order frequently, resulting in members often having to wait a considerable amount of time to access available machines.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the changing rooms do not appear to be cleaned regularly, and clean towels are often unavailable.
In addition
Linking Words
, the club becomes crowded in the evenings, which makes it difficult to exercise comfortably. I would greatly appreciate it if the faulty equipment could be repaired or replaced as soon as possible. It would
also
Linking Words
 be beneficial if cleaning were carried out
mor efrequenlty
Correct your spelling
more frequently
 and if an adequate supply
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 towels were maintained.
Finally
Linking Words
, it may be worth considering a booking system for the most popular equipment or extending
opennig
Correct your spelling
opening
 hours during peak periods. I hope you will take these suggestions into consideration and implement improvements for the benefit of members. Yours faithfully, Dhanya
s r
Capitalize the proper name
S R
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Score: 8. Add one small detail about how the problems affect you, such as not being able to use the club after work. This can make the letter even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 8. Each paragraph has one main job and is easy to read. Check small spelling and spacing errors, as they can slow the reader down.
task response
You answer all three parts: why you joined, the problems, and ways to fix them.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a letter to a club manager.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear order: reason, problems, then ideas to help.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “In addition”, and “Finally” help the reader follow your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Facilities: amenities or spaces provided for certain activities.
  • - Equipment: Tools or items used to perform specific tasks or sports.
  • - Maintenance: The upkeep or repair of facilities and equipment.
  • - Uncooperative: Not willing to work or assist others.
  • - Untrained: Lacking necessary training or skills.
  • - Feedback: Comments or suggestions for improvement.
  • - Accommodate: Make or have space for; to meet the needs of.
  • - Professionalism: The competence or skill expected of a professional.
  • - Recommend: To suggest a course of action.
  • - Wellness: The state of being in good health.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: