IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Noise pullution in cities should be treated as seriously as other forms of pollution. To what extent do you agree and disgree?

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I
stongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree that
noise
Use synonyms
 pollution deserves the same attention as air, water, and light pollution. Costanat traffic, construction work and most
extremely
Rephrase
especially
show examples
 aircraft
noise
Use synonyms
 can disturb sleep
an
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 cause stress
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, insomnia
for
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 my experience i had insomnia all my life and construction work is mainly the issue. Long term exposure to loud
noise
Use synonyms
 may lead to hearing problems, high blood pressure and poor concentration.
Noise
Use synonyms
 affects children and elderly people especially people with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder). Unlike air pollution,
noise
Use synonyms
 can
dissappears
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
 quickly, but
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 repeated effects on health can be serious. To improve the
noise
Use synonyms
city
Punctuation problem
, city
show examples
 governments should set strict limits for construction hours and traffic
noise
Use synonyms
. Public transport, electric vehicles and better urban planning can reduce
noise
Use synonyms
 in crowded areas.
However
Linking Words
, some level of
noise
Use synonyms
 is unavoidable in active cities, so policies should focus on controlling excessive
noise
Use synonyms
 rather than eliminating it completely.
Overall
Linking Words
noise
Use synonyms
pullution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 is unavoidable
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 day and age
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 people who suffer the most
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to stay in silence.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is on topic and your view is clear. To reach 7, explain more clearly why noise should be treated as seriously as air or water pollution. Add one full example, not only your own case.
task response
The last line is not clear: “people who suffer the most chose to stay in silence.” Say who these people are and what the city should do for them.
task response
You say noise is hard to avoid, but you still strongly agree. Make this link clear: noise cannot be ended, but strong rules can cut the worst noise.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Use two clear body parts: one for why noise is serious, and one for what cities can do. This will make the answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences have many ideas. Make them shorter. For example: “Traffic, building work, and planes can disturb sleep. They can also cause stress.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links at the start of each main part, such as “First,” “Also,” and “For this reason.”
task response
You give a clear view: you strongly agree. You also give good reasons, such as sleep problems, stress, and health risks.
task response
You give useful ways to cut noise, for example rules for building work, public transport, and electric cars.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main ideas, and an ending. Your ideas are in a good order.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words such as “Unlike”, “However”, and “Overall” to move from one idea to the next.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • air and water pollution
  • constant exposure
  • traffic congestion
  • construction sites
  • aircraft noise
  • disturb sleep
  • cause stress
  • hearing loss
  • high blood pressure
  • poor concentration
  • quality of life
  • vulnerable groups
  • strict noise limits
  • construction hours
  • residential areas
  • public transport
  • electric vehicles
  • urban planning
  • excessive noise
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