IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays, more people are working from home instead of travelling to an office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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The importance of working from
home
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, which was always debatable, has now become more controversial
with
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, with
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 many people claiming that it is
beneficial
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beneficial,
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while
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 others reject
this
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 notion. The substantial influence of
this
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trend
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 has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over
the
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its
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 potential impact in recent years.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate
both
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on both
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 positive and negative effects of
this
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trend
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 and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad
of
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apply
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reasons which will
further
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 explain
this
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 argument
but
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, but
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 the most preponderant one stems from the fact that
employees
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 can save a considerable amount of time and money by avoiding daily travel to their workplaces. Another pivotal aspect of
this
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 argument is that working from
home
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 provides
employees
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 with greater flexibility and allows them to spend more time with their families. Needless to say, all these merits stand in
a
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good stead.
However
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, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of
this
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trend
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but
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, but
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 one of the most alarming ones is that
employees
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 may feel socially isolated because they have fewer opportunities to interact with their colleagues. Basically, working from
home
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 may
also
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 create distractions and reduce concentration, particularly when
employees
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 have family members around them.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many are against
this
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trend
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.
According to
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 the arguments mentioned above, one can reach
to
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apply
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a conclusion that the benefits of working from
home
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 are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
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, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.

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task response
Overall score: 6. Your ideas are on topic, but they need more detail. Explain how each point affects workers or companies. For example, say that no travel can give workers more sleep and lower daily costs.
task response
Add clear, real examples. For instance, a parent may use the time saved from travel to take a child to school. A worker in a small home may find it hard to work when family members are talking.
task response
Some lines are too general, such as “all these merits stand in a good stead”. Use direct words and explain the point instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is clear, but some long sentences are hard to follow. Use shorter sentences. Put one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is too long and repeats the idea that people disagree. State the topic and say that you will discuss the good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer formal linking phrases like “the most preponderant one” and “pivotal aspect”. They do not make the essay clearer. Use simple links: “First”, “Also”, “On the other hand”, and “For example”.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should sum up the main points more clearly. You can say that working from home is useful for time and family life, but workers need ways to stay in touch and avoid distractions.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: the good and bad sides of working from home.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: saving travel time and money, more time with family, less social contact, and more home distractions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “However”, “Basically”, “Hence”, and “Nevertheless”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • commuting
  • flexibility
  • cost savings
  • remote work
  • office space
  • utilities
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon footprint
  • personal commitments
  • stress reduction
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