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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, whiles others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 contemporary
world
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, a number of
companies
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sponsor
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sports
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 so that they can advertise themselves.
However
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, there is an ongoing debate about whether there are advantages to sponsoring
sports
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 or
there
Correct word choice
whether there
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 are disadvantages to it.
While
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 both perspectives hold merits, I strongly believe that sponsoring
sports
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 is the best
way
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 to reach the global
market
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, and it eventually boosts a
company
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's cash flow from the advertisement. The primary reason behind
this
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 sponsorship is that
companies
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 can easily reach the global
market
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. Most of the international
sports
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 are covered by international media.
As a result
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, people from all around the
world
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 can watch the branding of the sponsoring
company
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.
In addition
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, during breaks, advertisements go through the TV scroll or channel.
This
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way
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,
companies
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 can reach as many audiences as they can.
For instance
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, most international
sports
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 events receive sponsorship from
companies
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 to promote their
products
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 because
sports
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 organisations could get handsome funding from those sponsoring
companies
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.
Furthermore
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,
companies
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 are allowed to post advertisements by the
sports
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 event management. They usually experience a sharp rise in sales of their
products
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.
This
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way
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,
companies
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subsequently
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 increase their cash flow for the
companies
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. Businesses' income from the advertisement significantly boost countries economy.
This
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 is the only
way
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 businesses are able to reach the
world
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market
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 within a short period of
time
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 and boost
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companies'
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their
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 financial
capacity
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.
Thus
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,
companies
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 prefer to
sponsor
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sports
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 in that
way
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 to advertise themselves. Shifting the focus to the opposing perspective, international matches are often expensive to
sponsor
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, though domestic matches are less expensive.
However
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, sponsoring
sports
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 would require the
company
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 to spend a lot of
money
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 for the
company
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.
Additionally
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,
companies
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 could spend
money
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 on their product production
capacity
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.
As a result
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, it will be able to produce more
products
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 and eventually will be able to compete with
their
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its
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 competitors.
For example
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, most giant manufacturing
companies
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 in the
world
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 do not spend
money
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 on sponsoring
sports
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 to advertise their
products
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. They spend
money
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 on quantity and endeavour to reach as many customers as they can.
Furthermore
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, sponsoring
sports
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 often requires planning and
implementing
Replace the word
implementation
. It requires not only a lot of
money
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 but
also
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 requires spending a lot of
time
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.
Companies
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 can
utilize
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utilise
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this
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 extended period of
time
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 to research and develop their product quality.
Consequently
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, more people will purchase their
products
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 because of the quality and spread word of mouth to boost business sales.
Therefore
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, it is significant to spend
money
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 on research and development
as well as
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 production
capacity
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 for the
products
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are several drawbacks identified,
such
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 as spending a huge amount of
money
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 to
sponsor
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sports
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instead
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 of doing research and development
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as
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, as
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 well as increasing production for their
products
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, I strongly believe that sponsoring
sports
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 could boost businesses' financial
capacity
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 as they can reach the
world
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market
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 within a short period of
time
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.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer covers all parts of the task, but some ideas are too long or repeat. For example, the point about reaching the world market and making more money appears many times. Give one clear reason, explain it, and add one real or clear example.
task response
Make the bad side more direct. You say sport support costs a lot, but then you move to making more products. Explain more clearly why this is a problem: the company may lose money if people do not buy after seeing the ad.
task response
Some examples are too general. Instead of “most giant manufacturing companies”, use one clear case, such as a company that puts money into product work rather than sport ads. Do not make claims that may not be true.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Your main order is clear, but some body paragraphs have too many ideas. In paragraph 2, you move from world ads, to TV ads, to sport groups getting money, to sales, to country income. Keep one main point in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same thing again. “Reach the world market”, “increase cash flow”, and “boost financial capacity” are very close in meaning. State the point once, then explain how it happens.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple, clear links between ideas. For example: “On the one hand, sport ads can help a company become known. On the other hand, they can cost too much.” This will make your two sides easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentences where the meaning is not clear, such as “advertisements go through the TV scroll or channel” and “Businesses' income from the advertisement significantly boost countries economy.” Clear sentences will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear opinion. Your opinion stays the same from the start to the end.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: ads can reach many people, but sport support can cost a lot.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, one side, the other side, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words such as “However”, “For example”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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