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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Children today have more responsibilities than the past. Some people think it has positive effects than negative ones while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, kids have more
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 than before , which is becoming an important issue in many countries. Some people believe that they have positive effects ,
while
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 others think that they have negative effects. In my opinion, I believe that making the children have
responsibilities
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is creating
invisible
Correct article usage
an invisible
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 generation.One important reason is that strengthening the personality.
This
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 is because reducing difficulties and problems from work, school, and the house.
For example
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
learning
Capitalize the word
Learning
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 new skills can help in a lot of situations ,and help you learn how you are going to act.
Therefore
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,
such
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 as cooking and time management.
This
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 is
also
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 changing kids so that they can hold
responsibilities
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, and with no pressure. Another reason is that Preparing for future life.
In other words
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, studying abroad on your own will completely change your life, so you have to learn how to adapt and cope with the difficulties.
For instance
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, boosting self-confidence is one of the great reasons to have duties.
As a result
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, achieving goals stems from self-confidence because the child is confident.In conclusion, there are different opinions about giving the kids
responsibilities
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.
However
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, I believe that giving the child an
opportunite
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to take
responsibilities
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 has more benefits, because availability to know himself better and reduce dependence on families.

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Task response
Score: 5. The question asks for both views, but your essay mainly explains the good side. Add one full paragraph about the bad side, for example: too many duties can make children tired, worried, or leave less time for play and school work.
Task response
Make your main idea more clear. The line "creating invisible generation" is hard to understand. Say exactly what you mean, such as: "I believe the good effects are greater when parents give children duties that fit their age."
Task response
Explain each example more. Do not only list cooking or time use. Show how it helps: cooking teaches children to care for themselves, while time use helps them finish school work on time.
Coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put one clear main idea at the start of each body paragraph. For example: "On the one hand, duties can help children become more able." Then explain it and give one example.
Coherence and cohesion
Some links do not fit the meaning. "Therefore, such as cooking and time management" is not a full idea. Write: "For example, cooking and managing time can help children deal with daily life."
Coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one point. Your first body paragraph moves from personality to school, work, house duties, skills, cooking, and time use. Choose one or two ideas and develop them well.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: 1) say both views and your view, 2) good effects, 3) bad effects, 4) restate your view. This will make your answer easier to follow.
Task response
You give your own view clearly: you think duties can help children.
Task response
You use some examples, such as cooking, time use, and studying in another country.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and an ending.
Coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as "For example", "In other words", and "In conclusion".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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