IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that university education should be free for everyone, regardless of their financial background. Others believe that students should pay for their own education.

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In recent years, there has been a considerable debate about whether college
education
Use synonyms
 should be free for every student or whether
students
Use synonyms
 should pay for it.
Although
Linking Words
 tuition fees charged to
students
Use synonyms
 give some benefits to
universities
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, I firmly believe that college
education
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 must be accessible freely. Tuition fees are commonly charged by
universities
Use synonyms
 across the world, it use as a resource to maintain and develop the
education
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 systems. With the funds collected from
students
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, the
universities
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 can allocate the budget and spend it for goodness purpose. Some campuses in Indonesia have built their building, laboratories, and facilities
from
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with
show examples
 the money
students
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 paid for them. Despite
this
Linking Words
 benefit, it creates a gap between the rich and the poor. Through good systems and support from the authorities, free
education
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 will give multiplier impact on society. Many great countries are capable of improving their
civilization
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civilisation
show examples
 by providing the young generation with free university
education
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, many scholars from different economic backgrounds are contributing to society with the knowledge they gained from the
universities
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, free
education
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 systems can help someone
from
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out of
show examples
 poverty.
For instance
Linking Words
, children from poor families, who cannot afford to pay the cost to go to the university, can continue their
education
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, and after graduating, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 use their knowledge to get a better job and live a better life. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
 some benefits may come if
students
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paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 for their
education
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, the advantages of taking no charges on university
education
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 provide better results for individuals or society.

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task response
State your main view more fully in the first part. You say education should be free, but also explain who should pay for it, such as the state through tax.
task response
Develop the other view more. Explain not only that fees help schools, but also how this money can improve teaching, labs, staff, and student help.
task response
Use more clear and real support. The Indonesia example is useful, but say why these new buildings or labs help students learn better.
task response
Make your key ideas more exact. For example, explain how free study can help poor students finish school, get work, and then help their families and the wider public.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Begin each main part with one clear point. Then give an explanation and an example before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar changes the meaning. For example, write: 'Universities use tuition fees to maintain and improve their education systems.'
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words with care: 'However' for a contrast, 'For example' for a case, and 'As a result' for an effect. Do not join two full sentences with only a comma.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending more direct. Say clearly that free university study is better because it gives equal chances and can help society in the long term.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear view that university education should be free.
task response
Your example about students from poor families is relevant and helps show the social value of free education.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are in separate parts: fees can help universities, while free education can help people and society.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion both match your main view, so the essay feels complete.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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