IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

đŸ”¶Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? 🔾 Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 with health problems are trying
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
Use synonyms
 and treatments
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting
usual
Correct article usage
a usual
show examples
doctor
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has
Correct pronoun usage
, which has
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 become
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 topic of discussion. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 development for two main
reasones
Correct your spelling
reasons
. One of the main reasons
alternative
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medicines
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 cannot replace
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
doctor
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's visit.
This
Linking Words
 is because it may delay proper diagnosis and treatment.
For example
Linking Words
, a patient will rely on
alternative
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medicines
Use synonyms
 may
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a
serios
Correct your spelling
serious
 problem.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 may
receve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the treatments in
late
Correct article usage
the late
show examples
 stage. Some of
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alternative
Correct article usage
the alternative
show examples
 tretments causes health problems
instead
Linking Words
 of
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people
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 to
healing
Wrong verb form
heal
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, sometimes there are
nagtive
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negative
 cases
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
 causes dangeros situation for
people
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as healing with using acupuncture.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
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 travel to chaina to treatment and after that, come back in worse condition.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
alwayes recommened
Correct your spelling
always recommended
 to be sure about tratment before any step. It is wise not to rush and always consult a trusted professional. In conclusion, there are many
reasones
Correct your spelling
reasons
 to
choes
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choose
 a
doctor
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, but professionalism is one of the most important.
Replace
Wrong verb form
Receiving
show examples
 a
doctor
Use synonyms
's visit with
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
helth
Correct your spelling
in health
 problems and causes dangeros disses.

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task response
Your main view is clear: you think this is a bad change. Keep this view clear in every part. Give two full reasons, such as late help from a doctor and harm from unsafe care.
task response
Explain each reason more. Say how a late check can make an illness worse, and why some other treatments may not be safe or may not work.
task response
Your examples need to be more clear and real. Do not say that people go to China and return worse unless you explain what happened. A simple example of a person with a serious illness waiting too long for a doctor would work better.
task response
Some ideas repeat, such as health problems and danger. Add one new point, for example that doctors can test the cause of an illness and give the right care.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion. Your essay already has this basic shape, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then give an explanation and one example. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “because”, “for example”, “therefore”, “however”, and “as a result”. Make sure the link shows the right meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences more complete and clear. For example, write “Alternative medicine cannot replace a visit to a doctor” instead of “alternative medicines cannot replace with a doctor's visit.”
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You give two main reasons for your view, and both are related to health and safety.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs and include an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “For example”, “As a result”, “Secondly”, and “In conclusion”.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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