IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that senior
managers
Use synonyms
 should receive significantly higher
salaries
Use synonyms
 than other
employees
Use synonyms
 in a
company
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 I agree that
managers
Use synonyms
 deserve greater financial rewards because of their responsibility and expertise, I think that
and
Correct determiner usage
an
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 excessive difference in pay can have negative consequences for other workers. There are several reasons why
managers
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 should be paid more
that
Correct word choice
than
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 ordinary workers.
Firstly
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, they usually have greater responsibilities and are required to make important decisions that can directly affect a
company
Use synonyms
's performance. A poor decision,
for example
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, could result in substantial financial losses or the failure of an important project.
Secondly
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, attractive
salaries
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 can help companies recruit and retain highly experienced professionals who have the skills necessary to manage large organisations effectively.
However
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, I do not believe that the salary gap should be excessively large. If senior
managers
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 earn many times more than other
employees
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,
this
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 may create a sense of unfairness among the workforce.
Employees
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 who do
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company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 daily duties may feel undervalued, which could reduce their motivation and productivity.
Furthermore
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, an extreme difference in income can damage relationships between
managers
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 and their staff and create resentment in the workplace.
For
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this
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 reason, companies should ensure that
employees
Use synonyms
 at all levels receive fair
salary
Check wording
salaries
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 for
their
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 tasks
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they
done
Wrong verb form
perform
show examples
.
To sum up
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, I agree that senior
managers
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 should earn higher
salaries
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 because they have greater responsibilities and require considerable expertise.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that the difference should be reasonable, as excessively high
salaries
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 can harm employee motivation and create a sense of inequality within a
company
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.

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task response
Give one more real or clear example. For example, show how a manager’s choice can help or hurt a company, or show how low worker pay can lead to less work effort.
task response
Make your own view even more direct in the first paragraph. You could say that higher pay is fair, but it must stay within a fair limit.
task response
Explain what a “reasonable” pay gap means. You do not need exact numbers, but you can say that workers should also get fair pay, rises, and rewards when the company does well.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas can be smoother. In the second body part, add a short link before the last sentence to show that fair pay is your answer to the problem.
coherence and cohesion
Check a few word forms and small grammar points because they can slow the reader: use “an excessive difference”, “more than ordinary workers”, “the company’s daily work”, and “tasks that they do”.
coherence and cohesion
Try not to repeat “salary” and “employees” too often. You can also use “pay”, “workers”, “staff”, and “the workforce” when the meaning is clear.
task response
Your view is clear: managers can earn more, but the gap should not be too large. You answer both sides of the question and keep this view to the end.
task response
Your main ideas are on point. You explain manager pay through duty, skill, and the need to keep good people. You also explain how a very large gap may hurt workers.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a clear ending. Each body part has one main purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “However”, “Furthermore”, and “To sum up” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • justification
  • experience
  • responsibility
  • high-stakes decisions
  • motivation
  • incentive
  • wage disparity
  • morale
  • meritocracy
  • performance
  • contributions
  • company finances
  • employee development
  • research
  • expansion
  • alternative compensation structures
  • performance-based bonuses
  • profit sharing
  • dissatisfaction
  • retention
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