IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear…………..,

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Dear Mr Stan, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to kindly request that you adjust my working
hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
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 as I would like to focus on my part-time studies. The reason why I require fewer working schedules is that I'd like to join courses of ACCA Part II in the evenings of a week, where I dedicate about 3 hours to attending class. If I go for that session, I will definitely need to depart from work earlier than the usual take-off time.
Consequently
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, I'd like to ask you if you can revise my working hours from 8.0 am to 3.0 p.m from Monday to Thursday.
However
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, I'd like to commit that I will work a full day on Friday, and I will certainly attend the evening meetings if they are necessary for urgent matters. There are many benefits of these studies to your company
as well as
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 myself, and one of them is a job-related qualification for career development in Accounting.
For example
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, when you aim to introduce the advanced ERP system in
this
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 organisation, I can perform more effectively with the help of
this
Linking Words
 course accomplishment.
Furthermore
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, you will not need to hire additional
senior levels
Check wording
senior-level personnel
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 for that upcoming project, and I am confident to handle it by myself because my
further
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 studies will broaden my skills. I deliberately hope for your reply to my requisition as if I am eager to contribute my effort to your company's development. I personally appreciate your consideration , and I am ready for any adjustment in rearranging. Best regards Swe Zin Moe

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task response
Make your reason more direct. Say clearly that the evening ACCA classes start at a set time and that you need to leave work early to get there.
task response
Give the exact new work plan in a clear way. Also say when this change would start and whether it is for a set time or for the full course.
task response
Explain the help to the company with one clear, real example. The point about the new system is good, but say what task you will be able to do better after the course.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler, more natural link words. For example, use “For this reason” instead of “Consequently” when making a work request.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because they are too long or use unclear words. Keep one main point in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
End with a simple request for a reply. For example: “I would be grateful if you could consider my request.”
task response
You answer all three parts: why you need less work time, the hours you want, and how study can help the company.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Each main part is in its own paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Consequently”, “For example”, and “Furthermore” help show links between ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce my working hours
  • part-time course
  • professional qualification
  • enhance my skills
  • relevant to my current role
  • attend scheduled classes
  • a flexible working arrangement
  • work from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
  • maintain productivity
  • manage my workload
  • meet important deadlines
  • minimise disruption to the team
  • up-to-date industry knowledge
  • practical skills
  • new technologies and methods
  • apply my learning at work
  • benefit the organisation
  • share knowledge with colleagues
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