IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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While
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 the study of
history
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 may seem of little importance or relevance to some, for
others
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others,
show examples
 it is valuable and necessary to understand our present. In
this
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 essay, I will address the main reasons
of
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for
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 both positions before giving my personal
opinion
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. On one hand, those who argue that the study of
history
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 does not matter much are often individuals who underestimate historical processes, because these events delegitimize changes and regimes they support
today
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.
For example
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, a person who supports a dictatorship will argue that it does not matter if people have died or democracy has not been respected
since
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, since
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today
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 we do not have a communist regime, a very common position in right-wing parties
such
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 as the Republican and the Libertarian. In
this
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 regard, much of the retrograde ideologies focus on omitting or
exacerbating
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exaggerating
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 facts in
history
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 without an objective or
contextualized
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contextualised
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 perspective, where there is clearly a lack of
rigor
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rigour
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 when
analyzing
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analysing
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 certain prose in
history
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.
On the other hand
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, those who
emphasize
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emphasise
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 the importance of studying and understanding
history
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 point out that a critical and anachronistic perspective is necessary to
analyze
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analyse
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 and discuss contemporary processes. Much of what we are experiencing
today
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 is the result of great political, social and cultural battles, and it is necessary to know about it in order to have an
opinion
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today
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. I think it is important to have a retrospective look at certain historical events in order to be a subject capable of
criticizing
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criticising
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 and expressing an
opinion
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 on issues of contemporary society.
Furthermore
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, many sensationalist and ignorant opinions stem from a lack of knowledge regarding past events, where the context is insufficient or even contradictory to validate their position.
To conclude
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, the study of
history
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 is more than situating itself in a period in the timeline with battles
heroes
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, heroes
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 and martyrs, is
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above
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, above
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 all
crucial
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, crucial
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 to understand and have a solid
opinion
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 about current moments since great revolutions and ideologies arose claiming the past.

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task response
Develop the first side more fairly. At present, it says that people who do not value history support bad political ideas. This is too wide and may sound unfair. Give other reasons, such as people thinking that school time should focus on work skills, science, or new problems.
task response
Use examples that directly show why history is useful or not useful. For example, learning about past wars can help people see the cost of hate, or learning about past money problems can help leaders avoid the same mistakes.
task response
Explain your own view with one clear main reason and a real example. This will make your final view stronger and easier to believe.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one main idea. The first body part moves from history to dictatorship, communism, and political groups. This makes the point less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas more clear. For example, say why a lack of history study can lead to weak views, and then show the result. Use simple links such as “because”, “so”, “for this reason”, and “as a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are long and hard to follow. Break them into shorter sentences. For example, instead of putting several ideas about history, politics, and facts in one line, state one idea and then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats your view, which is good, but it could be more direct. Sum up both sides first, then state clearly that history is useful because it explains how the present came to be.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and clearly give your own view. Your main view is clear: history helps people understand and judge life today.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, your own view, and an ending. Words such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To conclude” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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