IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that working from home is better than working in an office. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, working at
home
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 has become more popular. Some
people
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 believe that working from
home
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 is better than working in an office. I agree with
this
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 opinion because it saves
time
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 and money and gives more flexibility.
To begin
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 with, one of the main reasons why I agree is that working from
home
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 helps to save
time
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 and money.
This
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 is because you need to buy a ticket for public transportation or gas for your own car when you go to
work
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 in an office.
Also
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, working from
home
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 saves
time
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 by avoiding traffic congestion, and employees can spend
time
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 resting or staying with their families.
For example
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, someone works in an office and spends a long
time
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 on the road
due to
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 traffic congestion.
As a result
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, working from
home
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 allows
people
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 to save
time
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 and money.
Moreover
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, another important reason is that working from
home
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 gives
people
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 more flexibility.
In other words
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, it allows employees to organise their
work
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 around their lifestyle, and helps to reduce stress and be more comfortable when working, which employess they are become more productive in their
work
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.
For instance
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, workers who have children can choose a specific
time
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 to
work
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 and care for their children or spend
time
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 with them.
Therefore
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, working from
home
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 helps
people
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 to achieve a better balance between
work
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 and life. In conclusion, I believe that working from
home
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 improves
people
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’s lives because it reduces daily costs and gives
people
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 more flexibility to do
work
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.

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task response
Explain your ideas in a more full way. For example, say how saved travel time can help a worker do better at work, or how a parent can plan work and child care.
task response
Your examples are a little general. Give one clear, real-like case with details, such as a worker who saves one hour each day by not going to the office.
task response
The question asks how far you agree. You can make your view stronger by saying that home work is better for many jobs, but not all jobs. Then explain that some people may need an office for team work or special tools.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. In the first body part, focus on time and money. In the second, focus on freedom. Make the link between each point and your main view very clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. For example, the sentence about stress and being more productive should be split into two short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “working from home” too often. You can also use “this way of work”, “home work”, or “this choice” when the meaning is clear.
task response
You give a clear view from the start and keep the same view in the whole essay. Your two main ideas, saving time and money and having more freedom, fit the question well.
task response
You use examples about travel time and parents with children. These help the reader see why home work can be useful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “To begin with”, “Moreover”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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