IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries
The bar chart illustrates the challenges
people
Use synonyms
 would face if they
go
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 to live in other countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 learning the local
language
Use synonyms
 in older
people
Use synonyms
 had the highest
figure
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 finding somewhere to live
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 in older
people
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
figure
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, making
friends
Use synonyms
 had
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 percentage in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 adult category,
it was making
Change preposition
with
show examples
friends
Use synonyms
 had a
figure
Use synonyms
 of 46%,
while
Linking Words
 find place to live recorded 40%.
learning
Capitalize the word
Learning
show examples
 the local
language
Use synonyms
 was lower, at 29%, and
this
Linking Words
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
people
Use synonyms
from
Correct word choice
aged
show examples
 18-34
the
Check wording
worry
show examples
 most thing they worre about
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
how to
be
Verb problem
make
show examples
friends
Use synonyms
 with
every one
Correct your spelling
everyone
, and they don't want to be lonely. As for middle
adult
Punctuation problem
adult,
show examples
 the
highest
Correct word choice
most serious
show examples
 problem is finding somewhere to live , the
figure
Use synonyms
 was 39%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by making
friends
Use synonyms
 , with 36%. In comparison, learning the local
language
Use synonyms
 had 35%, and
this
Linking Words
 is for
people
Use synonyms
 from 35 to 54 they more rational, and they want
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 hotel or apartment with
reasonable
Correct article usage
a reasonable
show examples
 price.
Finally
Linking Words
, for older adult the most
issue
Correct word choice
common issue
show examples
 they had
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 learning the local
language
Use synonyms
, recorded 54%,
while
Linking Words
 making
frineds
Correct your spelling
friends
 had 23%.
Overall
Linking Words
, finding somewhere to live was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 percentage with 22%, and for
people
Use synonyms
 over
55
Add a comma
55,
show examples
 they just want to know
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 to help them with
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
, school,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 their work .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, language, figure, friends with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • challenges
  • language
  • communicate
  • housing
  • cultural
  • differences
  • understandings
  • discomfort
  • financial
  • concerns
  • cost
  • living
  • establishing
  • social
  • network
  • difficult
  • place
What to do next:
Look at other essays: