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Writing Samples
Band 8

There are many animal species that are close to extinction. Some say that only animals that are beneficial should be protected. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
As global extinction rates accelerate, some argue that conservation efforts should focus strictly on animal
species
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 that provide direct benefits to humanity.
This
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 essay completely disagrees with
this
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 approach because selective protection threatens to
destabilize
Change the spelling
destabilise
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 entire ecosystems and risks destroying
species
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 with undiscovered scientific and medical value.
Body paragraph 1
First,
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protecting only a small subset of animals disrupts the natural food webs that sustain all life. Every
species
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, regardless of its perceived utility to humans, occupies a specific niche within its environment. If one organism is allowed to go extinct, the resulting imbalance can severely impact predator and herbivore populations alike.
For example
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, if apex predators are removed from an ecosystem, herbivore populations rapidly multiply, leading to overgrazing and land degradation.
This
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 chain reaction ultimately collapses the local habitat, demonstrating that every creature is vital to ecological stability.
Body paragraph 2
Second,
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many
species
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 that currently appear unproductive or even dangerous may possess immense, unexamined biomedical potential. Wildlife holds complex evolutionary traits that frequently lead to medical breakthroughs when researched.
For instance
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, chemical compounds derived from scorpion and snake venom—substances traditionally viewed as harmful—are now actively used to develop treatments for chronic diseases, including certain types of cancer. If these creatures were left to perish
due to
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 their lack of immediate utility, society would lose invaluable resources for future innovation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, limiting protection to explicitly beneficial animals is a short-sighted strategy. Universal conservation is essential not only to prevent global ecological collapse but
also
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 to safeguard wildlife that may hold the key to future scientific discoveries.

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task response
Make the answer even more direct by saying why the word “beneficial” is hard to define. An animal may not help people now, but it may help nature or people later.
task response
Add one more clear link between nature loss and human life. For example, explain that damage to land and plants can affect food, water, and homes for people.
task response
The medical example is good, but keep the claim careful. Say that animal substances can help scientists find new treatments, rather than saying they are already used for many diseases.
coherence and cohesion
Use a little more variety in linking words. For example, use “As a result”, “Because of this”, or “In the same way” when the link between ideas is cause and effect.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph could be tighter. The sentence about all life is broad; follow it at once with the food-chain example to make the flow faster.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, repeat the two main reasons in shorter words: protect animals to keep nature healthy and to avoid losing possible future help for people.
task response
Your position is clear from the start and stays the same throughout: all animal species should be protected.
task response
You give two strong main ideas: the need to keep nature in balance and the possible future value of animals for health research.
task response
Your examples of top hunters and animal venom are relevant and help explain your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First”, “Second”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” guide the reader well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph begins with a clear main point and then explains it step by step.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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