in many countries around the world , there are too many vehicles on the road . what is the main reason for this ? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

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Introduction
In the modern era, technology has improved significantly. So, it makes studying much easier. Others,
on the other hand
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, think going to school and taking the infomations by the educator is better than digital study.
This
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essay aims to elucidate the differing perspectives before offering my own viewpoint.
Body paragraph 1
Examining the former opinion, these days, many people use digital devices to study online because they do not have any schools in their area or schools are far from them.
As a result
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, they use the internet to communicate with teachers online, where teachers can teach them.
For example
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,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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too many African countries are poor in schools and education because of their lack of economy.
In addition
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, the nation does not have the money to study abroad for the same
previous
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apply
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reason. So, they could learn online.
Body paragraph 2
Considering the other perspective, others argue that the old teaching system is the best because the students can take values and characteristics from their schoolteacher.
Moreover
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, a good educator can give moral support for his students if they need.
For example
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, when a student gets tired or exhausted from studying hard, the teacher will give him some support.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views have pros and cons. on my own viewpoint, the old learning method is better because when they can be sccessful on their studies and their life.

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task response
Write about the topic in the question. The question is about too many cars on the road, but your essay is about online study and school. Answer both parts: why there are so many cars, and what can be done to make this less serious.
task response
Give clear main ideas. For reasons, you could write about more people having money to buy cars, poor bus and train service, and cities growing. For action, you could suggest better public transport, safe bike paths, and higher fees for driving in busy city areas.
task response
Use examples that fit the road and car topic. Explain how each example shows a reason or a way to solve the problem.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two body parts, and an ending, which is a good start. However, all parts need to stay on the same topic as the question.
coherence and cohesion
Make one clear plan: first body paragraph for reasons, second body paragraph for measures. Start each paragraph with a main sentence, then add an explanation and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words clearly, such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Make sure words like “former” and “other perspective” match the ideas in the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your last sentence is not complete in meaning. State your final view in a clear way, such as: “In conclusion, better public transport and limits on car use can help reduce traffic.”
task response
You tried to give reasons, examples, and a personal view.
coherence and cohesion
You used a clear essay shape with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some useful linking words, such as “For example”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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