successful sports profesionals can earn a great deal more money than people in the other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Introduction
It is argued that some people believe
becoming
Correct word choice
that becoming
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athletes are easier
get
Verb problem
to get
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much
salaries
Correct word choice
higher salaries
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at competition
Change preposition
in competitions
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and they are
effortting competitor
Replace the word
competing
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
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essay
I
Punctuation problem
, I
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will delve fundamental occurred on the society.
Body paragraph 1
It is noticeable that sport is
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
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form of entertainment
Conclusion
Occupations are convienient than sport must to much effort

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task response
Answer all parts of the question. Explain why high pay for sports people can be fair, explain why it can be unfair, and then give your own clear view.
task response
Write full ideas, not only short notes. For example, explain that top players bring large crowds, sell tickets, and make money for clubs. Then explain that doctors, teachers, and other workers also do very important work.
task response
Add clear, real examples. You could compare a famous football player with a doctor or a teacher. Say how each person helps people or brings money to a business.
task response
Your main point is not clear now. The line about athletes getting money in competition is hard to understand. Say exactly what you mean and give a reason.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction; reasons why the pay is fair; reasons why it is unfair; your view and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Start with a simple topic sentence, then give reasons and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of your ideas: 'On the one hand', 'For example', 'However', 'On the other hand', and 'In my view'.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the essay with a conclusion. Repeat your view in clear words, without adding a new idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and meaning. For example, instead of 'Occupations are convienient than sport must to much effort', write: 'Other jobs are also important, but sports people may work very hard to reach the top.'
task response
You identify the main topic: sports people may earn a lot of money.
coherence and cohesion
Your first line tries to introduce the topic, and you begin a new paragraph for a new idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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