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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a booksellere between 1972 and 2012

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The given diagrams illustrate the level of salaries of five genres of books in the period
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1972 to 2012. Generally,the highest figures
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 to
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
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 and children sections.
However
Linking Words
,the middle trends
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to other types of literacy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the lowest figures in the diagram
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 to biography and travel books. Having looked at the given picture
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 more
details
Check wording
detail
show examples
,in 1972 adult fiction was 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and rose by 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 before reaching
it
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
 highest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
.In the same
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
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 fiction accounted for 20 % and surged
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 by 2% in 1992
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 after two decades, its record reached
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the other books , travel documents
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 recorded at 15% in 1972, and grew by 3% in
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
 in 1992,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
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there was
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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figure decline
Correct word order
decline in the figures
show examples
 after 20 years
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 8%.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 percentages of others and biography was 25% and 20%.And has
fall of
Replace the word
fallen
 to 8% and 12% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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