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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that studying at university is the best route to a successful career, while others think that work experience is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
There is a common argument nowadays among people that the most critical thing for a bright future is to study in college and get an excellent degree. Some argue that having a job and practical experience is the best way to build a strong career for
your
Correct determiner usage
the
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 future.
While
Linking Words
 others think that having a degree is essential to starting a successful life,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I totally support
.
Correct pronoun usage
this.
show examples
Body paragraph 1
When you start a career as an employee without any knowledge or
education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 you will face difficulties with limited futures and options. Because of the low level of educational qualifications properly you will start with low-level jobs that require high effort and long work hours with low salaries,
such
Linking Words
 as builders, drivers, or cleaners.
Body paragraph 2
But if you get educated in college, and become a knowledgeable person in a special
field
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field,
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 it will open many opportunities that take you to a high professional level and good salaries,
such
Linking Words
 as being an engineer in a big company or a nurse in major hospitals, those professions that you can not get without an education.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, studying and having a degree will lead you to better opportunities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and a brighter future, but working without any knowledge will make your self suffering in your life.

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task response
Discuss both views in a more equal way. You explain college study well, but the good side of work experience is very short. Add a full part about how work can teach real skills, help people learn from others, and show what job they want.
task response
Give a more balanced view before your own view. For example, say that work experience can be very useful, but college is needed for some jobs, such as nursing or engineering.
task response
Avoid saying that people without college knowledge will only have low-paid jobs. This is too broad. Some people can build a good career through work, skill, or their own business.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main part begin with a clear topic sentence. The first main part should explain why work experience matters, and the second should explain why university matters more in your view.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. For example: “On the one hand, work experience gives people real skills. On the other hand, university study gives people the knowledge needed for some jobs.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep your ending close to your main view, but do not repeat only one side. End by saying that both paths can help, while university is the better path for jobs that need special knowledge.
task response
You give a clear view: study at college is more important for a good career. You also give job examples, such as engineer, nurse, builder, driver, and cleaner.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Words such as “But” and “To conclude” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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