IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Online learning is increasingly replacing traditional classroom teaching. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In recent years , there has been a growing trend towards distance
education
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 development offers several significant advantages , it
also
Linking Words
 presents notable disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 essay will examine both sides before reaching a cogent conclusion.
Body paragraph 1
One of the primary advantages of online
education
Use synonyms
 is that it lowers financial barriers for
students
Use synonyms
 who are from low-income families.
This
Linking Words
 is because pupils will study from their home , so everything will be free for them ,
such
Linking Words
 as food ,accommodation and internet.Another significant benefit is that online courses make high-quality
education
Use synonyms
 more accessible to
students
Use synonyms
 regardless of their location.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
Oman
Punctuation problem
Oman,
show examples
 a large number of people live in the
mountaine
Correct your spelling
mountains
, so as
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 the government decided to provide online
education
Use synonyms
 to help those people
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
learn.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these benefits for online learning , there are
also
Linking Words
 considerable drawbacks. A major
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 is that there is no social interaction or
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
 available , which
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
 something necessary for learners to improve their skills.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a dangerous issue.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent studies show that
students
Use synonyms
 who rely heavily on online learning may struggle to communicate with other people in the future.
In addition
Linking Words
, online learning can
be sometimes
Correct word order
sometimes be
show examples
 a source of distraction for
students
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
 many
students
Use synonyms
 use their phones or laptops to study, but these devices contain a lot of social media apps ,
such
Linking Words
 as YouTube , Instagram and
tiwtter
Correct your spelling
Twitter
.
Conclusion
In
concluson
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
Linking Words
 online learning can help
students
Use synonyms
 to save their money and access to
widen
Use the right word
wider
show examples
 information ,
but at the same time
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
has ,
Correct word order
also has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some downsides which can
affects
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 dramatically in their way of communication and in their concentration.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make some ideas more exact. Online study does not mean that food, a home, and internet are free. Say that it can cut travel and housing costs.
task response
Explain each main point one step more. For example, say how less face-to-face time may make group work and speaking skills harder.
task response
Use a more careful final idea. Online learning may not replace all classroom teaching; it can work best with some classroom time.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the first body part, cost and access are good, but give each one a clear explanation before moving on.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Do not use “However” after you have already said that you will look at both sides. Start more simply: “This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the end shorter and clearer. Restate the two sides, then give one clear final view.
task response
You answer both parts of the question. You give clear good points, such as lower cost, help for people far from schools, less social time, and distraction.
task response
Your Oman example helps show why online study can be useful for people who live far away.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well in many places, such as “For example”, “Despite these benefits”, and “In addition”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: