IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently bought an electronic device from a local store, but it stopped working after a few days. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: explain what you bought and when you bought it describe the problem with the device say what you would like the manager to do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 that I purchased from your store on 20 July 2026. The device is a black Samsung Ultra S24, which I bought
along with
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 a two-year warranty. Unfortunately, after using the
phone
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 for only a couple of days, I started experiencing problems with its battery. Even after being fully charged, the battery drains completely within a couple of hours.
This
Linking Words
 has caused considerable inconvenience, as I frequently need to recharge the
phone
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 throughout the day. I did not expect
such
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 a problem from a newly purchased device. As I purchased the
phone
Use synonyms
 only a few days ago and it is still covered by the warranty, I would appreciate it if you could replace it with a new one. Alternatively, if a replacement is not possible, I would like to request a full refund. I look forward to receiving your response and hope that
this
Linking Words
 matter can be resolved promptly. Yours faithfully, Garry

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task response
Add the store name, the place of the store, or a receipt number if you have one. This would help the manager find your sale more easily.
task response
You could say that you can bring the phone and the receipt to the store. This makes your request more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use one or two more link words, such as “therefore” or “for this reason”, to show the link between the battery problem and your request.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same clear paragraph plan in future letters: reason for writing, details of the problem, and the action you want.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: what you bought, when you bought it, what went wrong, and what you want the manager to do.
task response
Your letter has a clear and polite formal tone. The request for a new phone or a full refund is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a clear order: purchase details, the problem, and the action you want.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the letter is easy to read.
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