IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, the expensive price of popular consumer products is because of the power of advertising and not real needs of people. Do you agree or disagree?

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at
Capitalize the word
At
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 the beginning i agree because the body graph shows a good
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
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 about consumer products
duo
Use the right word
due
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 to the power of advertising
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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adverising
Correct your spelling
advertising
 is very strong for consumption
have
Punctuation problem
. Having
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 a high price for paying taxes and similar things
Punctuation problem
. For
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for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason i strongly agree
companies
Correct word choice
that companies
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 often use persuasive marketing and celebrity influence to send far more than necessary

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Task response
State your view in one clear sentence at the start. Then explain why ads can make prices high. Your point about tax is not clear, so explain it more or leave it out.
Task response
Add a real or clear example. For example, a famous person may promote a phone or bag, so many people want it even when they do not need it.
Task response
Answer all parts of the question. Say if you fully agree or partly agree, and explain whether real needs also affect prices.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a clear order: introduction, first reason, second reason, example, and conclusion. At the end, repeat your main view in a short way.
Coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and easy to follow. For example: 'Advertising is very powerful. It can make people want products that they do not really need.'
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of your ideas: 'First', 'Also', 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion'.
Task response
You clearly give your view: you agree that ads can make people pay more for products.
Coherence and cohesion
You try to give reasons for your view, such as strong marketing and famous people in ads.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer products
  • advertising campaign
  • brand image
  • brand loyalty
  • celebrity endorsement
  • social media influencer
  • create artificial demand
  • persuasive marketing
  • premium price
  • production costs
  • research and development
  • high-quality materials
  • quality control
  • genuine need
  • social status
  • well-known brand
  • impulse purchase
  • perceived value
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