IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that all popular TV programmes should aim to educate viewers about improtant social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
In today's fast-paced
world
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world,
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 there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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plenty of TV programmes
,
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apply
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that affect people's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 daily.
Thus
Linking Words
,does television really need to emphasise
on
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apply
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challenges?
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with,television is used by almost every person in today's modern society. After a sophisticated day,humanity turns on a variety of programmes to get to know what's emerging on Earth.In some
ways
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ways,
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 it helps to rest a bit and to not bother about anything.
Body paragraph 2
On the
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contrary
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contrary,
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 awful environmental and political issues are happening right away.People have to be aware of
news
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the news
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 and understand the whole situation.We still have an opportunity to alter our climate change,global warming and air pollution problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
,unveiling challenges and speculating about
such
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 questions is vital.Folks will
finally
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 start to consider,discuss and develop critical thinking skills ,on account of news impact.Raising awareness of emissions that are produced
due to
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 non-electric cars will be absolutely crucial
,
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;
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it's inevitable to deal with,but for nations.
Conclusion
To draw a conclusion,social interaction has to be increased with the help of different shows,podcasts and channels on TV to draw people's attention and interest towards essential content.

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task response
State your answer more clearly in the opening. Say if you agree fully, partly agree, or disagree. At present, your view is not fully clear.
task response
Answer the key word “all”. You could say that not every popular TV show must teach, because people also need shows for fun and rest. Then explain why some popular shows should include social issues.
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Develop each main idea with a clear reason and one full example. For example, explain how a TV drama could show air pollution through the life of one family.
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Some ideas are too broad. “People have to be aware of news” is true, but explain how TV can make this happen and why it matters.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. The first body paragraph can explain why TV is for rest; the second can explain why TV should also teach about social issues.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. “On the contrary” shows the first idea is wrong, but your first point is not wrong. Try “However” or “At the same time” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. Some sentences have many ideas and are hard to follow. For example, split the sentence about emissions, cars, and nations into two or three sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending should repeat your exact view. For example: popular TV should sometimes teach about important issues, but it should not be the aim of every programme.
task response
You give a clear view that TV can help people rest, but it can also help people know about social and world problems.
task response
You use useful examples, such as climate change, air pollution, and cars that make emissions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, main parts, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “To begin with”, “On the contrary”, “Therefore”, and “To draw a conclusion” help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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