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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, it is much easier for people to prepare food. Do you agree or disagree with the statement that it has improved people's lives?

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Introduction
It has been observed that cooking
food
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 has
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
 much easier for individuals. As far as
,
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apply
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 I am concerned, I completely concur with the notion owing to the ease of use and time saving.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, cooking
food
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 is more
earier
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easier
 now. Gone are the days when
people
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 used to memorise the
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recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
. With modern
technology
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,
people
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 can
cook
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 anything with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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handheld devices.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 can carry the handheld device anywhere and use it for
Use synonyms
recipies
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recipes
instead
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 of memorising
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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, allowing them to make anything without any stress of
remebering
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remembering
 the
recipie
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recipe
.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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 to
this
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 ease,
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recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
 can be found online that
are making
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make
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 it more effective for
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 to
cook
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 their
desirable
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desired
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 meal.
searching
Capitalize the word
Searching
show examples
 the
recipie
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recipe
 online
,
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apply
show examples
 saves
alot
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a lot
 of time that
people
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 used to take earlier.
For example
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,
according to
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 recent research, the number of
people
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 who
cook
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food
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 at home has increased by 70%
due to
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 the availability of
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recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
 online, making
people
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more effective.
Body paragraph 3
Although
Linking Words
 modern
technology
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 has made cooking easier for
peoples
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people
show examples
,
but
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apply
show examples
some individuals may still find it difficult. On the
suface
Correct your spelling
surface
,
this
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 might seem true.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 difficulty can be reduced easily with the help of modern
technology
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.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily follow the online
Use synonyms
recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
 and cooking tutorials, which makes cooking easier and less stressful.
Therefore
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, I believe that modern
technology
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 has made cooking more convenient and less-stressful
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I do believe that it is much easier for individuals to
cook
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food
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 nowadays because of the availability of online
Use synonyms
recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
 and modern
technology
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, which help
people
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 save both time and
efforts
Check wording
effort
show examples
.

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task response
Give more detail about how easy cooking makes life better. For example, say that people can spend more time with family, eat at home more often, or waste less money on food.
task response
Keep the main idea clear: the question asks if easier food preparation has improved life. Do not only say that cooking is easier; explain the good change in daily life.
task response
Use examples that feel real and clear. The example about online recipes works, but the research claim is not explained. You could give a simple home example instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main parts, and end. To make the flow better, make each main paragraph focus on one point: time saved in one paragraph and less stress in another.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea many times, such as online recipes making cooking easier. Add a new point or explain the point in a different way.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph that starts with "Although" is not needed because it repeats your earlier points. If you keep it, show one clear problem first, then give a full answer to that problem.
task response
You clearly state that you agree and keep this view from the start to the end.
task response
You give two useful reasons: cooking is easier to learn and it can save time.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph clearly show your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as "To begin with", "In addition", and "For example" to guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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