IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays, the
environment
Use synonyms
 is deteriorating time by time;
therefore
Linking Words
, people can not do anything to improve it; only higher authorities and large industries can make a difference. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 option.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if only the government and large companies protect nature, they can not manage to preserve the nature of the entire area. So, protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 is not only their duty, but it
also
Linking Words
 rests on the shoulders of the entire nation. To be more exact, as long as everyone collects waste from their own area ascendancy by one. After a short time, the situation will be improved.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, nowadays people who live in a courtyard can plant different trees and flowers. To contribute to
this
Linking Words
, the government need to lower the prices of plants.
As a result
Linking Words
, people rush to grow a large number of plants
due to
Linking Words
 the lowest prices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if entrepreneurs build their factories far away from human settlements, the toxic gases that are emitted from them do not affect the health of local residents.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 governments and fabrics try to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
, preserving areas is
also
Linking Words
 the local residents' responsibilities and they should contribute to these.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will create a clean
environment
Use synonyms
 for future generations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view in a more direct way. Say that you disagree because both people and those in power must act.
task response
Develop each main point more fully. Explain how small acts, such as using less plastic, saving water, and sorting waste, can add up when many people do them.
task response
Use clear examples. The point about people growing plants needs an example of how this helps the air, heat, or local area.
task response
Keep all ideas close to the question. The point about factories far from homes is more about public health than about people making a difference.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the link between ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body part. In the second part, planting trees, plant prices, and factory sites are three different ideas; choose one or explain the links.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences clearer. For example, replace "ascendancy by one" with "step by step" or "little by little".
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as "For example", "As a result", and "In addition" can show the exact link between your points.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and stay with it until the end.
task response
You include useful ideas about waste, trees, and the role of firms.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful signposts, such as "To begin with", "Secondly", and "To sum up".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: