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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the internet users as percentage of population in USA, Mexico and Canada

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of internet consumers in three countries,
such
Linking Words
 as
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 and the US, over the 10-year period between 1999 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the graph, the US had more consumers than the others;
however
Linking Words
, throughout the period,
Canada
Use synonyms
 overtook the US and became the biggest user of the internet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all three countries experienced a dramatic increase,
while
Linking Words
Mexico
Use synonyms
 had the smallest percentage of internet users. First and foremost, in 1999, the US accounted for 20%, followed by
Canada
Use synonyms
 with 10% and
Mexico
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 with approximately 5%. By 2003, the US increased to 50%,
while
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 surpassed the US and accounted for 60%, followed by
Mexico
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 with 20%. In 2005, the US and
Canada
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 experienced an increase, both rising to 70%,
while
Linking Words
Mexico
Use synonyms
 stood at 30%. By 2007, all three countries escalated,
Canada
Use synonyms
 to approximately 85%, the US and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 to about 78% and 35% respectively.
Canada
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the period, reaching 100%, followed by the US with 80%, and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 at the bottom of the graph, rising to 40%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, mexico with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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