IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
A growing number of
companies
Use synonyms
 are allowing their staff to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development because it provides
employees
Use synonyms
 with greater flexibility in their personal lives and enables employers to recruit professionals from a wider range of locations.
Body paragraph 1
Working from home gives individuals greater flexibility and freedom. Since they do not have to spend their working hours in the office, they can manage their
work
Use synonyms
 alongside other responsibilities,
such
Linking Words
 as doing household chores, spending time with their families, and exercising.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have more freedom to travel and enjoy their personal lives, which may help prevent burnout and result in higher productivity.
As a result
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 benefit because
employees
Use synonyms
 may need fewer days off to rest.
For instance
Linking Words
, many people began looking for remote jobs during and after the COVID-19 pandemic, especially parents and those who have long commutes.
Body paragraph 2
Another advantage of remote working is that
companies
Use synonyms
 can hire
employees
Use synonyms
 from around the world. Since location is no longer a major obstacle,
companies
Use synonyms
 can recruit the best talent regardless of where they live. They can
also
Linking Words
 reduce relocation and housing costs because
employees
Use synonyms
 do not have to move to the company's location.
This
Linking Words
 arrangement
also
Linking Words
 benefits
employees
Use synonyms
, as they can
work
Use synonyms
 for leading
companies
Use synonyms
 and share their expertise without having to relocate or obtain
work
Use synonyms
 permits.
For example
Linking Words
, some
companies
Use synonyms
 in the UK hire highly skilled computer engineers based in India to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely on their systems without requiring them to move to the UK.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that allowing
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 from home is beneficial to both
employees
Use synonyms
 and employers, as it provides workers with greater flexibility
while
Linking Words
 allowing
companies
Use synonyms
 to recruit talented professionals regardless of their location.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your answer has a clear view from the start and keeps this view to the end. To make it even stronger, add one short point about a possible problem of working at home, such as less contact with co-workers, and then explain why the good sides are still greater.
task response
Your two main ideas are clear: more freedom for workers and more choice for companies. The first idea could be more exact. Working from home does not always mean people can do house work or travel during work hours. Say that it saves travel time and gives more control over life outside work.
task response
The examples fit your ideas well. The example about parents, long trips to work, and the COVID-19 time is useful. You could make the UK and India example safer by saying “for example, a UK software company may hire an engineer in India,” rather than making a wide claim about some companies.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: it has an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each main part starts with a clear topic sentence. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
You use links such as “Moreover,” “As a result,” and “For instance” well. A few links show a cause that is not fully clear. For example, “they have more freedom to travel” may not fit normal work hours. Use a more direct link: “Because they save time on travel to work, they may have more time for family and rest.”
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence of the first main part repeats the idea of fewer days off, but it needs a clearer step between rest and time off. Explain that a better work-life balance can help people stay well and miss fewer work days.
task response
You answer the full question directly and give a clear positive view. Both main ideas are relevant to workers and companies.
task response
Your reasons are explained, not only listed. You show how less travel can help workers and how wider hiring can help companies.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is clear and natural. The ending brings the two main points together and matches your view in the opening.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea, and your examples come after the point they support. This makes the writing easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: