IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Which of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and bicycle?

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Introduction
Nowadays, people
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
argue over
travelers
Check wording
travellers'
show examples
 preferences
either
Correct word choice
, whether
show examples
 by
cars
Check wording
car
show examples
 or
bicycles
Check wording
bicycle
show examples
. Both cars and bicycles have advantages and disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will share my opinion
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion, riding
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is an economic and physical well-being
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
.
While
Linking Words
 using a bike
heading
Punctuation problem
, heading
show examples
 to
shop
Correct article usage
the shop
show examples
 or work is a
one shot
Correct your spelling
one-shot
 and
two goal
Correct your spelling
two-goal
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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that's help
Verb problem
that helps
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 to save
about expenses
Change preposition
on
show examples
 gas or
tire
Change the spelling
tyre expenses
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 people are exercising.
Next,
Linking Words
there is no traffic.
However
Linking Words
, in case of rain is one of
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
,
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using a bike asks to leave early
Linking Words
otherwise
Punctuation problem
, otherwise
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 you might be late. Sweating
due to
Linking Words
effort
Correct article usage
the effort
show examples
 of the pedals. That's why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer using a bike in my
neighbourood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 to exercise rather than use it to go to an environment like
workplace
Correct article usage
a workplace
show examples
 or
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Driving cars
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 helps
getting faster to occupations
Correct word order
get to occupations faster
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, unless stuck in traffic,
car
Use synonyms
accident
Check wording
accidents,
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 etc.
on
Capitalize the proper name
On
show examples
 the other
hands
Check wording
hand
show examples
, one of the disadvantages of
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
cars
show examples
 is smoke inhalation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 air pollution is distroying the society.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer travelling in
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
, because of the weather
either
Correct word choice
, whether
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 cold or heat i can adjust the temperature in my
vehicule
Correct your spelling
vehicle
. wherever
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am going,
en
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 always look fresh and clean to boost my confidence.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
, bicycle is usefull to exercise and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 money
using
Change preposition
by not using
show examples
 a
car
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 may help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their physical energy.
While
Linking Words
 riding a
car
Use synonyms
,
helps
Correct pronoun usage
it helps
show examples
 riders go faster
less
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and
fresh
Replace the word
fresher
.

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task response
Answer every part of the task in a clear way. State your choice at the start, then give the good and bad points of both car travel and bike travel.
task response
Your main choice is not fully clear. You first say you prefer a bike in your area, but later say you prefer a car. Explain when you choose each one, or choose one and give a clear reason.
task response
Give more full support for each point. For example, a car can be better for long trips, heavy bags, rain, or very hot days. A bike can save money, help health, and cut air pollution.
task response
Use one or two real examples. For example: “I ride my bike to a nearby shop, but I take my car when I need to carry food home.”
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: first paragraph for your view, second for bicycles, third for cars, and last for a short end.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The bike paragraph should only talk about bikes, and the car paragraph should only talk about cars.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words such as “First,” “Also,” “However,” “For example,” and “In the end.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph clear. It should repeat your final choice and the main reason, without adding new ideas.
task response
You discuss both ways of travel and give good points such as cost, health, traffic, weather, speed, and air pollution.
task response
Your ideas are connected to daily life, especially travel to work, shops, and meetings.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an opening, body paragraphs about bikes and cars, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “Therefore,” to show how your ideas are related.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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