Some people believe that women should play an equal role to men in a country's police or military forces, while others think that women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Nowadays, there are ongoing debate that 0women should have the same opportunities as men in the

police

Use synonyms

and military.

Whereas

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some people think

women

Use synonyms

are unsuitable for these types of professions, others believe that there should be equal opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

working these jobs. I firmly believe

women

Use synonyms

should be given the same allowance to work these professions.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, there are enough reasons why some people believe females are not suitable for working in a

police

Use synonyms

or government-related position.

Firstly

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, there are some dire requirements, including

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apply

show examples

being enduring and resilient. There are some challenging duties,

such

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as carrying heavy items, which require a great deal of physical strength.

Secondly

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, military personnel may be required to work in extremely demanding conditions for long periods, which can make these careers challenging.

For example

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, many

police

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workers are transferred to other regions, where the living quality is low. These demands can cause pressing difficulties for females.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, there are strict requirements not only for physical strength, but

also

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for indispensable skills. Being a master in decision-making, problem-solving, and communication is necessary for military jobs. It is a fact that most

women

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contribute more significantly than

males

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men

show examples

. More importantly, employees should focus on merit-based strategies. Namely, choosing a worker focusing on skills is more paramount than

Correct article usage

apply

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gender. There are some females

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apply

show examples

who are better in both physical and educational ability.

As a result

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, there should be an equal workplace for them. Working in the

police

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apply

show examples

or military profession helps them to assimilate important skills

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apply

show examples

in the future.

For instance

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, they have experience and the ability to steer in emergencies.

Conclusion

To sum up

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although

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military and

police

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jobs are challenging and demanding, there should be gender equality. The most appropriate approach is to assess applicants

according to

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their physical, mental and professional degree rather than their genders.

musabekovaferuza50

Aug 21, 2026

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task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To improve, explain why women can do these jobs with more care. Avoid broad claims such as “most women contribute more than males”, as this is not proved and may weaken your point.

task response

Use more clear and real examples. For example, women may be good at talking to victims, gathering facts, leading teams, or making calm choices in hard times. Explain how each example supports equal chances.

task response

Some ideas are not fully clear. “Equal workplace” should be “equal opportunities”, and “physical, mental and professional degree” should be “physical, mental and work skills”. Make your main point direct: all people should be judged by their ability, not sex.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Make the links between ideas smoother. In the first main part, explain that hard physical work is one reason some people have this view, then show why this does not apply to every woman. In the second part, move from skills to your main rule: choose the best person for the job.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences do not connect well or use unclear words. For example, “employees should focus on merit-based strategies” is not natural here. Write: “Police and military forces should choose people based on their skills and ability.”

coherence and cohesion

Keep key words the same. Use “police and military jobs” or “the police and military” instead of changing to “government-related position”, “military personnel”, and “workers”. This makes the essay easier to read.

task response

You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and state your own opinion from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Each main part has a clear main idea, and your conclusion returns to your view that people should be judged by ability rather than sex.

coherence and cohesion

You use helpful linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “To sum up”.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role to men in a country's police or military forces, while others think that women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?