Caring for children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Children are the foundation of a society. These days

Punctuation problem

, it

show examples

is being discussed that, the

parents

Use synonyms

should be made mandatory to take

childcare

Correct article usage

a childcare

show examples

training course. I fully agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and will discuss valid reasons in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

Linking Words

with, it

Verb problem

show examples

most important for a

child

Use synonyms

to get proper care during the initial days of life. It is very crucial for a baby to have

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should have knowledge concerning all

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

they might face after the birth of

Use synonyms

first

Correct determiner usage

their first

show examples

child

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, from

very

Correct article usage

the very

show examples

first

Use synonyms

days ,

parents

Use synonyms

should be aware of the difficulties

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

they may face after their

first

Use synonyms

baby. It is important that they

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

know what

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

wants. Babies cannot just ask, but they do signal.

This

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signal can either be a cry or a smile. It is

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

the

parents

Use synonyms

to decide the meaning of the gesture made by an offspring.

Therefore

Linking Words

, guardians should have the education to interpret the

cummunicating

Replace the word

communication

method of a toddler.

Body paragraph 2

Adding more, after

Use synonyms

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

few years have passed

another

Punctuation problem

, another

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test begins for the

parents

Use synonyms

. Mother and father should be aware

about

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show examples

the steps

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

they should

have to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

take , so that

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

have

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

and bright future.

For example

Linking Words

, there is a vaccination programme for a kid that starts from birth and continues till the age of

adolesence

Correct your spelling

adolescence

. Apart from the medical duties,

parents

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

know that some kids may need special attention in schools in

later

Correct article usage

a later

show examples

period during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schooling. It is evident that

this

Linking Words

situation is avoidable if

parents

Use synonyms

can track earlier

symtoms

Correct your spelling

symptoms

like lack of concentration and anxiety.

Body paragraph 3

This

Linking Words

is only possible if

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

is educated in childcare training.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

Fix capitalization

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all know that family have to sacrifice their working hours to do

this

Linking Words

training, but

this

Linking Words

sacrifice can give their offspring a radiant future.

satnamsohi1322

Aug 21, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear: you agree that all parents should take childcare classes. Keep this clear view from the start to the end.

task response

Give a fuller reason for making the classes required for every parent, not only new parents. For example, say that all children need safe care, and classes can help parents act well in hard times.

task response

Make your examples more exact. The points about baby signs, shots, and school needs are useful, but explain how a class helps parents in each case.

task response

Avoid claims that are too strong, such as saying a child needs the best parents. Say that training can help parents give safer and better care.

coherence and cohesion

Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first main point, second main point, and conclusion. Your essay mostly has this plan, but the one-line paragraph near the end should join the paragraph before it.

coherence and cohesion

Start each main paragraph with one simple main idea. Then add an example and explain it before moving to the next idea.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. Words such as 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result' can show the link between your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Some lines are hard to follow because they are too long or have missing words. For example, change 'it a most important' to 'it is very important' and make one idea clear in each sentence.

task response

You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion.

task response

You use useful child care ideas, such as knowing baby signs, getting shots, and seeing early school problems.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two main idea parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The move from care in the first years to care at school shows a clear time order.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

care
children
society
important
parents
training
skills
understand
needs
situations
behavior
safety
relationship
trust
love
outcomes
healthy
successful
future

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nformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

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