Young people often copy the behavior of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowaday folks
are
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apply
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argue over
teen
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teens
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and middle age act similar as
stars
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
influencer suppose to encourage them about healthy food and drink. I
am
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apply
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support
this
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idea that
influencer
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influencers
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should promote good
habit
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habits
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towards their fans . In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I am going to give my point of view about
this
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statement.
Body paragraph 1
Whenever Singers have
opportunity
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the opportunity
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to be around their publics, it is crucial that they
will take ended
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end
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up with a positive outcome
over
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for
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the receivers. At
first
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first,
show examples
they are powerful in fashion, body shape,
even
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and even
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their cars. By exemple,
buisiness
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businesses
use athletes more likely to promote products that help in weight loss; on the other hands models are
the
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a
show examples
good fit for dresses or high heels. That's why I
am
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apply
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strongly agree that celebrities
suppose
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are supposed
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to use their influence in a good
maner
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manner
regarding their followers.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, when people
Use synonyms
stars
Use the right word
start
show examples
in rap,
raggae
Correct your spelling
reggae
anybody
have
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has
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in mind they are herb
smocker
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smokers
, because back
then
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they were using
mariguana
Correct your spelling
marijuana
.
However
Linking Words
, a lot of
human
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humans
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with no power or
stars
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are taking drugs.
Also
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, event planners are considered as advisors on upcoming
celebration
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celebrations
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as much as there
is a
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are
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good figure spectators try to reproduce any idea in their parties or
gala
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galas
show examples
.
Conclusion
To
summarize
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summarise
show examples
,
stars
Use synonyms
are the best moderators in their fans' daily activities,
therefore
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using
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
in a good essence is highly
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
.

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task response
State your view in a clear way and keep the same view from start to end. You agree that stars should show good habits, but you also need to say clearly why they should not show smoking or drug use.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain how ads for healthy food can help young people, and how smoking ads can lead to harm. Give one clear example for each idea.
task response
Make sure every paragraph answers the main question. The part about event planners and parties is not closely linked to food, drink, smoking, or famous people.
task response
Use more exact ideas. For example, say that young fans may copy a star’s food choice because they want to look or live like that star.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Give each body paragraph one main point. Your first body paragraph mixes fashion, body shape, cars, and product ads. Choose one point and explain it fully.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the order of your ideas, such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use “Nevertheless” when the next idea does not clearly disagree with the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences more direct. For example: “Celebrities have great influence on their fans. Therefore, they should promote healthy habits.”
task response
You give a clear general view that famous people should use their influence in a good way.
task response
You try to use real-life examples, such as athletes in ads and the link between some music stars and drug use.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “However”, and “To summarize”, to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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