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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart below show the distribution of students by gender and by the subjects they are studying at a major university in 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts below show the student structure categorised by
genders
Check wording
gender
show examples
 and by
majors
Correct article usage
the majors
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in a university in 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were more male than female
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 university.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most male undergraduates studied in engineering,
while
Linking Words
 their female peers
most
Rephrase
apply
show examples
majored in business. As for the general distribution, males
accouted
Correct your spelling
accounted
 for 52%, followed closely by females, comprising 48% of the total
students
Use synonyms
. Looking deeply
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 majors, the structures of subjects of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 genders were
quiet
Use the right word
quite
show examples
 different. Engineering was the most popular major among boys but the least
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 one among girls, recording 40% of male
students
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 and 10% of female
students
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, the proportion of business ranked second among males, representing 20% of them, followed by arts and humanities and science, each taking up15%. Regarding female
students
Use synonyms
,
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 department has the largest share, taking up 25%. Arts and humanities trailed slightly behind at 20%. Meanwhile, the proportions of science, education, and other subjects were the same, each representing 15% of the total female
students
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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