Some people believe that telemedicine is suitable for delivering positive long-term healthcare outcomes, while others argue it is ineffective for ongoing care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction

At the present time,

telemedicine

Use synonyms

takes some part of healthcare, including consulting

mental

Change preposition

with mental

show examples

health with psychiatrists or asking your personal physician about your non-contagious disease. In my point of view, I firmly believe that

telemedicine

Use synonyms

is one of the innovation that supports long-term healthcare.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

telemedicine

Use synonyms

helps

patients

Use synonyms

to reduce costs and time to visit the doctor. Some people do not live near the hospital or the healthcare, so they have to spend their money and their work-time to visit doctors.

Moreover

Linking Words

patients

Use synonyms

can receive faster treatment than going to the hospital.

Body paragraph 2

Second,

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

telemedicine

Use synonyms

can gather and sum up all of the information of these

patients

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in one program, which helps the

healthworkers

Correct your spelling

health workers

to know all the data without wasting-time to ask.

Body paragraph 3

Although

Linking Words

telemedicine

Use synonyms

has beneficials outweigh drawbacks, it is only useful in simply case. In emergency

patients

Use synonyms

telemedicine

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could help only with primary treatment

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

complex treatment, they need to go to the hospital

instead

Linking Words

. At least it could help.

Conclusion

In conclusion, for all reasons mentioned above,

telemedicine

Use synonyms

is an essential tool to support both

healthworkers

Correct your spelling

health workers

and

patients

Use synonyms

. The first person

picks

Correct pronoun usage

who picks

show examples

up the call is the important person to

classified

Wrong verb form

classify

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and selects suitable cases into

telemedicine

Use synonyms

programs.

wanthanees.p

Aug 22, 2026

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task response

You give your own view clearly, and you explain why online care can save time and money. However, the essay needs a fuller discussion of both sides. Add one clear paragraph that explains why some people think online care is not good for long-term care, such as when a doctor needs to see, test, or treat the patient in person.

task response

Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how online care can help people in far places, people with long-term illness, and people who need regular talks with a doctor. Then explain why this may not work well for serious or hard cases.

task response

Use a real or clear example for each side. For example, a person with anxiety may have regular video talks with a doctor, but a person with chest pain must go to hospital for tests.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main points, a point against telemedicine, and an ending. Make the plan stronger: paragraph 1 for the view in support, paragraph 2 for the view against, paragraph 3 for your own view.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more clearly. Try: 'On the one hand', 'For example', 'On the other hand', 'However', and 'Therefore'. This will help the reader follow the change from the good side to the bad side.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph stay on one main point. The paragraph about emergency care starts with a contrast but then ends with 'At least it could help.' Explain exactly what online care can and cannot do, instead of ending with a short unclear idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order is not clear. Write shorter sentences. For example: 'Telemedicine can store patient information in one system. This helps health workers see the patient’s past care quickly.'

task response

You answer the question and state your view from the start: telemedicine can support long-term healthcare.

task response

You include a useful limit: online care is not enough for emergency or hard medical cases.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, so the reader can see your main view.

coherence and cohesion

You use simple paragraph breaks and some linking words, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'Although'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

201 words

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Some people believe that telemedicine is suitable for delivering positive long-term healthcare outcomes, while others argue it is ineffective for ongoing care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?