Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
times, many sick
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
use alternative
therapys
Correct your spelling
therapies
and
treatments
Use synonyms
rather than ask for help to a traditionals health workers
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
I partly agree because
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
case by case, for simple
conditions
Punctuation problem
conditions,
show examples
alternative medicines would be useful many times.
However
Linking Words
, patients with serious health issues should ask a doctor to
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
traditional diagnosis,
treatments
Use synonyms
and medicines.
Body paragraph 1
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
the
increase
Replace the word
increased
use of complementary
therapys
Correct your spelling
therapies
,
such
Linking Words
as herbs, supplements, hypnosis, indigenous medicine, yoga, have demostred or effective and positive
result
Check wording
results
show examples
in some cases, because
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
more affordable, and bring the sense of
well being
Correct your spelling
well-being
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nowadays
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
social media more number of persons can post and share their experiences consuming
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
this
Linking Words
therapies.
For example
Linking Words
, if a woman
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
symptoms of flu, she would drink lemone add honey and ginger to
alliviate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
her
disconfort
Correct your spelling
discomfort
.
Body paragraph 2
In contrast
Linking Words
, people with chronic conditions,
as
Change preposition
such as
show examples
diabetes,
higth
Correct your spelling
high
pressure or
seriuos
Correct your spelling
serious
accidents,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should follow the instructions of doctors.
Evenmore
Correct your spelling
Even more
, if they don't ask for medical treatment, they will be dangerous and harmful.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are other perspectives
, today
Correct word order
. Today,
show examples
traditional medicines suffer a crisis, since patients feel less
lisening
Correct your spelling
listening
, or
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think that the traditional medicine is excessively slow, especially in hospitals and
emercy
Correct your spelling
emergency
rooms.
In addition
Linking Words
, in some countries, hospitals and
treatments
Use synonyms
are
expensives
Replace the word
expensive
,
as a result
Linking Words
, the relationships with doctors
breaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
break
show examples
down, forcing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
patients to seek ways to heal.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that in some cases alternative
terapyes
Correct your spelling
therapies
could be a great help or complement
treatments
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
in more serious
healts
Correct your spelling
health
problems
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
mandatory recive traditionals medication.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You answer the question and give a clear view: alternative care can help in small health problems, but a doctor is needed for serious problems. To make your view stronger, say clearly in the first part that this is mostly a negative change, or mostly a positive one.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why some alternative care may help, and also explain why it can be unsafe when people do not see a doctor. This will make your answer more full and clear.
task response
Your flu example is useful, but make clear that honey, lemon, and ginger may help a person feel better; they do not replace medical care when symptoms are bad or do not go away.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph about possible good points, one paragraph about risks, and a conclusion. Keep this order, but make each paragraph focus on only one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas together. Use shorter sentences. For example, split the part about hospitals, cost, and patients not feeling heard into two or three sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Words such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” are good, but do not add many links in one paragraph if the ideas do not clearly follow each other.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between the second paragraph and the next paragraph clearer. Start the next paragraph with a direct sentence such as: “However, this choice can be dangerous for people with serious health problems.”
task response
You deal with both sides of the issue and give examples of small and serious health problems.
task response
Your main message is sensible: some home or alternative care may be helpful, but serious illness needs a doctor.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and they match your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The use of paragraphs helps the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: