IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
The emergence of
driverless
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vehicles
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 in
this
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 modern age is not surprising news at all.
Likewise
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, in the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be autonomous and independent self-driving. I firmly believe that the benefits of
driverless
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vehicles
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 outweigh the
drawbacks
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,
driverless
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vehicles
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 are operated automatically by the computer system rather than human drivers. Actually, most car accidents involve an element of human error.
For example
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, people who are behind the wheel
while
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 tired, drunk or distracted make mistakes because of being human. If AI is doing the driving, these problems cannot exist.
According to
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 annual global
road
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 crash statistics, on average, around 3000 people die each day from
road
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 accidents.
Therefore
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, using autonomous
vehicles
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 can enhance
road
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 safety and reduce human errors.
Additionally
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, it can
also
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 eliminate distractions and operate consistently.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, from the point of view of traffic and economic efficiency, autonomous
vehicles
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 create smoother traffic flow, increase lane capacity and operate continuously without human drivers.
Thus
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, implementing autonomous
vehicles
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 can reduce the requirement of human resources and allow people to work efficiently and effectively in areas where they are needed more.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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, there are some
drawbacks
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 to
adapting
Verb problem
adopting
show examples
 autonomous
vehicles
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. It is the product of advanced technology and an integrated system
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the primary cost and repair cost will be higher than ever.
Due to
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 the replacement of human drivers, the jobless and unemployment rate will increase.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is obvious that the main merits of
driverless
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vehicles
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 are increased
road
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 safety and travel efficiency,
while
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 the principal
drawbacks
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 are job displacement and higher cost.
Overall
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, by considering benefits and
drawbacks
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 thoroughly, its advantages outweigh the disadvantages either financially or socially. The future is likely to be all about automated transport with safe
driverless
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 roads.

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task response
State your main view in the first part, as you do now, but make it more exact. Say why safety and better use of time are more important than cost and lost jobs.
task response
Develop the job loss point more. Explain who may lose work, such as taxi, bus, and truck drivers, and say how new work or training may help.
task response
Be careful with very strong claims. Instead of saying problems “cannot exist”, say they may be much less common, because a computer system can still fail.
task response
Your road-death fact is useful, but explain more clearly how it proves your point. You could also give one clear example of smoother traffic or time saved for passengers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: benefits, drawbacks, then a final view. Keep this plan, but make the link between each idea a little smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Start the second main part with a clearer topic line, for example: “Driverless vehicles may also improve traffic flow and save money.” Then explain each point in turn.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “autonomous vehicles” too often. Use “these vehicles”, “this system”, or “driverless transport” when the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part more direct. The phrase “either financially or socially” is not fully clear because higher cost is a financial drawback. Say that the safety and time gains are greater than the cost and job loss.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a firm view that the good points are greater than the bad points.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, with useful points about safety, traffic flow, cost, and jobs.
coherence and cohesion
The main parts are easy to follow, and the use of “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” helps guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and final parts match well, so the essay feels complete.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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