IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below illustrate some employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The given pie charts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the comparison of job patterns between
female
Check wording
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom in 1992. Units are measured in
percentage
Check wording
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the charts, there are two types of
occupacy
Correct your spelling
occupation
, manual and non-manual. For the manual, there are craft, general labourers, and
other
Replace the word
others
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 for the non-manual, there are managerial and professional, clerical, and others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 can clearly be seen that the patterns of employment for the two genders are different. In terms of
female
Check wording
females
show examples
, the clerical work
dominate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dominates
show examples
 the data for 31. The next kind of
works
Check wording
work
show examples
 that
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 a big portion is the managerial and professional, and the craft or similar, stood at 29 and 27, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the other jobs hit a number below 10. Regarding the male, the managerial and professional strike the greatest percentage at 36.
In addition
Linking Words
, the craft or similar
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 26 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 manual
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 24.
However
Linking Words
, the three others
work stood
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 at under 10.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: