IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Water
Use synonyms
 should be
accessable
Correct word choice
accessible
show examples
 to all
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 as it is a basic human right.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 every household should get a
water
Use synonyms
 supply
that is
Linking Words
 provided free of
cost
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with the given statement, my
inclation
Correct your spelling
inclination
 will
elucidated
Verb problem
be elucidated
show examples
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
On the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 hand, providing
water
Use synonyms
 free of
cost
Use synonyms
 will help their government to get
people
Use synonyms
's attention.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 will get more
vote
Fix the agreement mistake
votes
show examples
 and
trust
Correct article usage
the trust
show examples
 of the citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, a political party from India had provided
water
Use synonyms
 to their citizen without spending a single
rupess
Correct your spelling
rupee
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Because of
this
Linking Words
 party got more
vote
Fix the agreement mistake
votes
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 got many
seat
Fix the agreement mistake
seats
show examples
 in different
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
, which helped
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 country in
overall
Linking Words
 growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, providing
water
Use synonyms
 free of
cost
Use synonyms
 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
the class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
,
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 they are from
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
 class or they are form middle class,
Who
Fix capitalization
who
show examples
can 't
Correct your spelling
cannot
 afford to pay for
water
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand, it
also
Linking Words
 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
 in
finincial situation
Correct your spelling
financial situations
,
which
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they can save that money in future for
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 and
also
Linking Words
 for saving.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many families in the country who can not afford to pay for
water
Use synonyms
, because of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 they can
that
Verb problem
save that
show examples
 money for saving it for future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, making
water
Use synonyms
 free of
cost
Use synonyms
 helps their government in more getting more tax from
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, which can
also
Linking Words
been
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 used
many
Change preposition
for many
show examples
 other good
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
show examples
.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 providing
water
Use synonyms
 at an expensive
cost
Use synonyms
 has some benefits,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that providing
water
Use synonyms
 at no
cost
Use synonyms
 has far more benefits, which are helping poor
people
Use synonyms
 to save their money for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 their country in
overall
Linking Words
 growth by taking
tax
Check wording
taxes
show examples
.

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task response
You clearly say that you agree, and you give two main reasons: help for poor people and help for the country. However, much of the first body part is about votes for the government. This is not the best reason for a basic human right. Focus more on health, safe living, and the needs of poor families.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. For example, say that free basic water can stop illness, let children go to school, and help families use money for food and homes. You can also say that only a basic amount should be free, while extra water should be paid for.
task response
Your India example is not clear enough. Name the place or give a simple, clear case. Also, make sure the example truly shows how free water helps people, not only how it helps a party win votes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this shape. But make each body part follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, and short link back to your view.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are repeated, such as saving money for the future. Add a new point instead of saying the same point again. This will make the essay feel more complete and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. “On the first hand” and “On the second hand” are not correct here. Use “First,” “Second,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion.”
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence is clear. Some sentences are very long and contain many ideas. Split them into two short sentences so the reader can follow your meaning.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view in the end.
task response
You try to use examples and explain how free water may help poor families.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear parts, with an opening, body parts, and a closing.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful link words, such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore.”
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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