Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals form dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction

These days, a lot of various

species

Use synonyms

of animals are ceasing from existance. Some agree that it is the responsibility of people and governments to preserve the extincting

species

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

some believe that we should be prioritising more on solving matters that humans are currently facing. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and state my own opinion.

Body paragraph 1

It is natural

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apply

show examples

that some

species

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are bound to become extinct from earth by the law of Mother Nature,

while

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extinction is a natural process, current rates are far higher

due to

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human activity.

For example

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according to

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the red list of threatened

species

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in the red data book issued by the IUCN, elephants, squirrels, and lantern flowers are

also

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endangered

species

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. Those artificial resources are mainly created by human beings. More importantly, the primary reasons for these swift extinctions are the sudden climate changes, global warming, pollution and deforestation. To put it simply, we should reduce the use of harmful substances like plastic as much as possible, and rather than using one-time energy sources, we should shift to renewable energy.

Additionally

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, we should minimise cutting trees, so the unnecessary animal extinction can be stopped.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, proponents of prioritising human issues argue that governments face pressing challenges

such

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as poverty, unemployment, and inadequate healthcare. They believe limited funding should be allocated to solving these immediate problems rather than to wildlife conservation.

However

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, I believe that protecting

endandered

Correct your spelling

endangered

species

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is equally critical, because biodiversity loss will ultimately exacerbate human problems in the long-term.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I think people should focus more on saving biodiversity, considering it as a problem of their own. In that way, we can protect both dying

species

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apply

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and prevent a future problem

that is

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bound to occur

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apply

show examples

if current actions of humans are continued.

melaniprasadini04

Aug 24, 2026

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task response

Discuss both sides in the same depth. The first body part explains why animals die and how to stop this. It does not clearly show why some people think human problems should come first. Add a full paragraph for this view, with reasons such as food, homes, jobs, and health care.

task response

Make your own view clear from the start and support it with more than one reason. For example, say that nature helps people by giving clean air, water, food, and work. Then explain how the loss of animals can harm human life.

task response

Use examples that fit the topic and are correct. Squirrels are not usually seen as a main example of animals close to dying out, and a lantern flower is a plant, not an animal. Choose well-known animal examples, or give a general example about forest loss.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, the first body part has too many ideas: natural death, climate change, pollution, plastic, energy, and trees. Split these ideas or keep only the points that directly support your view.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences. For the first body part, begin with the reason to protect animals. For the second, begin with the reason to put human needs first. This will help the reader follow your discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more clearly. For example: "Although some extinction is natural, human action has made it much faster." Then give causes and results in a clear order.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid repeating the same point in the end. Your last paragraph should briefly sum up both views and clearly restate why you think animal protection should be a main goal.

task response

You answer all parts of the question: you discuss animal protection, human problems, and give your own view.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction tells the reader what the essay will do, and the conclusion gives a clear final view.

task response

The point that loss of many animals may cause more human problems later is relevant and useful.

coherence and cohesion

Words such as "On the other hand", "However", and "In conclusion" help show the move between main ideas.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

protect
save
care for
look after
animals
nature
life
wild
land
water
air
soil
money
cost
spend
plan
rule
law
government
country
people
jobs
work
health
education
poverty
problem
issue
future
now
day
time
effort
balance
both
one side
other side
I think
in my view
my opinion
because
so
first
second
also
but
or
how
why
can
should
may
help
use
keep
stay
lead
show

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