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Writing Samples
Band 5

To what extent has internet made life more convenient

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Introduction
Research has shown that modern society cannot imagine life without online networks. On the one
hand
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hand,
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 it is
belived
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believed
 that because of technology, people’s capacity
of
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for
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 communicating and thinking
plunge
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plummets
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 consistently. Even though
,
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apply
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 there are enough
real life
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real-life
 examples that have shown that with a correct strategy,
internet
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the internet
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 can
became
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become
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 a useful tool.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, online platforms represent one of the most powerful ways to develop marketing strategies for a business. To
ilustrate
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illustrate
, the
well known
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well-known
 cosmetic brand Rhode started to grow significantly only after its owner posted on Instagram videos about how the beauty products looked
being
Correct word choice
when
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 applied
on
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to
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 the face. That proves the idea of how
internet
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the internet
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 can influence financial status.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, social media has revolutionised the way people connect with one another around the world. Now it is a matter of seconds to get in touch with friends or family members
that
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who
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 are in different countries and cannot leave the place they live.
For instance
Linking Words
, for citizens of countries severely affected by the pandemic
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as China,
Face Time
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FaceTime
was sometimes the only way to remain in close contact with their loved ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the couple Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
who
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, who
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 have a strong presence in the digital
sphere
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sphere,
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 started their relationship on mobile apps.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 worldwide informational system has the ability to open new opportunities and valuable
knowladge
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knowledge
only if it is used correctly.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
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Nonetheless,
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 with a lack of discipline and a
propper
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proper
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 understanding of the purpose of
cyberspace
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cyberspace,
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 it can ruin your mental health and social skills.

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task response
Give your main answer more clearly in the first paragraph. Say how far you agree that the internet makes life more convenient, then keep this view through the essay.
task response
Explain the link to convenience in each main paragraph. For example, show how online ads help a business save time or reach more people, not only how they help it grow.
task response
Your examples are clear and real, but some need more detail about the question. The example of the famous couple shows how people can meet online, but it is less strong than an example about daily life, work, study, shopping, or health.
task response
Develop the bad side more fairly. You mention mental health and social skills only at the end. Add one short paragraph, or part of a paragraph, about this point and explain why it does not fully change your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two main points, and an ending. Keep this strong shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences that answer the question more directly. For example: “The internet makes business more convenient because it lets firms reach buyers fast.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the first paragraph easier to follow. The ideas about weak thinking, weak communication, and correct use come too close together. State your view first, then briefly mention the other side.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the one hand” normally needs “on the other hand.” You can use “However” instead when you are giving a contrast.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, do not add a new main idea without support. Mental health and social skills should appear earlier if they are important to your final view.
task response
You answer the topic with useful ideas about business and keeping in touch with people far away.
task response
The examples of Rhode, video calls during the pandemic, and online apps make your points easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, and the examples come after the main point.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to your main message: the internet can be very useful when people use it in a good way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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