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Writing Samples
Band 5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
It is an increasingly widespread debate that all
university
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 undergraduate
courses
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 should include a period of
time
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 spent studying abroad or doing a
work
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replacement
Use the right word
placement
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. I firmly believe that
students
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 should spend
time
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 studying abroad or doing an internship before
graduate
Wrong verb form
graduating
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 since it not only allows younger
people
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 to develop practical
skills
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, but
also
Linking Words
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
students
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to be
Verb problem
apply
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more independent.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, in terms of the benefits, studying abroad or doing a
work
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 replacement offers some benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, studying in other
countries
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 or going to
work
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 means
student
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students
show examples
 should be responsible for
decisions
Correct article usage
the decisions
show examples
 they make, since they need to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
problems on their own.
For instance
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, undergraduates need to pay for
rents
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rent
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 and do
houseworks
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housework
show examples
 individually when studying abroad.
Consequently
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, if
university
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courses
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 give
students
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 a chance to study in other
countries
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 or to do a
work
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 replacement for a period of
time
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, they can accomplish
works
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work
show examples
 and daily routines independently.
Body paragraph 2
Apart from that, younger
people
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 are able to foster communication and practical
skills
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, and
also
Linking Words
 broaden their
horizens
Correct your spelling
horizons
 when turning to activities other than
courses
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 given by universities. In my observation, half of my classmates exchange in other
countries
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 for one or two
semester
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semesters
show examples
, and most of them have acknowledged various values that different cultures cherish, and learned how to communicate with
people
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 from different
countries
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.
Body paragraph 3
It can't be denied that learning
in the
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on
show examples
 campus
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 undergraduates to foster
skills
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 like critical thinking, problem-solving
skills
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, and research abilities. The goal of higher education is
making
Wrong verb form
to enable
show examples
people
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 to have abilities to solve problems that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by researching and
analyzing
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analysing
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, only focusing on a specific field may shorten
students
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' insights and decrease younger
people
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's employabilities under
this
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 competitive job market.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, after weighing the merits and drawbacks of the issue, I stand for the claim that
university
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courses
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 should include a period of
time
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 spent studying abroad or doing a
work
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 placement. Despite the positive implications that
university
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 undergraduate
courses
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brings
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bring
show examples
, stepping outside
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 young
people
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 to discover the world and their interests on their own,
while
Linking Words
 fostering communication and practical
skills
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 at the same
time
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task response
Make your main answer clearer in the first paragraph: say that the good points are stronger than the bad points. You give many good points, but the bad points are not fully shown or answered.
task response
Add one clear bad point, such as cost, stress, or the fact that some students may not find a good work place. Then explain why the good points are still greater.
task response
Develop each main point with a fuller link to the question. For example, say how work or study in another country can help students get jobs after university.
task response
Use more exact words for the two choices in the question. “Work placement” is correct; “work replacement” changes the meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main body, and end. Make the order even clearer: first give the good points, then the bad point, then explain why the good points win.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Do not repeat “studying abroad or doing a work placement” too often; use “these chances” or “this experience” after the first use.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more natural. For example, after the example about rent and housework, explain directly that this builds self-reliance.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form and grammar. Use short, clear sentences when you explain a main idea.
task response
You answer the question and clearly support the idea of study abroad or work experience.
task response
Your example about classmates in other countries is on topic and helps show how students can learn from other people and ways of life.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives your view, and the last paragraph returns to it clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph breaks and linking words such as “Firstly”, “Apart from that”, and “To sum up” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
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