IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people today change their career paths multiple times throughout their lives. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

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Introduction
Nowadays,it is common for individuals to switch their careers several times in their lifetime.In my opinion,
this
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 trend is largely a
postive
Use the right word
positive
show examples
 development,
although
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 frequent job-hopping may bring certain drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
One major benefit of changing careers regularly is that
people
Use synonyms
 can seek work which matches their real interests and strengths.Many young
people
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 choose their first job based on limited knowledge,and they may realise the occupation does not suit them after working for some time.By trying different fields,workers are more likely to find fulfilling
postitions
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positions
instead
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 of staying in unrewarding jobs for decades.
For instance
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,some
people
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 leave stable office jobs to work in creative industries,gaining greater job satisfaction.
Besides
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,diverse working experience can broaden
people
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's skill sets.Those who have worked in multiple industries tend to own more transferable abilities
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as communication and problem-solving,making them more adaptable in the competitive labour market.
Conclusion
However
Linking Words
,repeatedly changing jobs can have some negative influences. If
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
 move between careers too often,employers may doubt their loyalty and long-term commitment.These candidates could be less competitive when applying for high-level posts.

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task response
Give a clear final answer at the end. You say this is mostly a good change in the first part, but the essay stops after the bad point. Add a short last part that says why the good side is still stronger.
task response
Develop the bad point more. Explain how moving jobs many times may affect a worker, such as less trust from a boss, less chance of getting a top job, or more stress and money problems.
task response
Your example is clear, but make it more exact. For example, say how a person moved from office work to design, learned new skills, and then found work they liked more.
coherence and cohesion
The order is easy to follow: opening, good side, then bad side. Keep this clear plan, and add a final paragraph to complete it.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the change of ideas. For example: “On the other hand” at the start of the bad point, and “In short” or “Overall” in the last paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence lead to your final view. After the bad point, add a sentence such as: “Still, changing work is a good thing when people do it with a clear plan.”
task response
You answer the main question and give both the good and bad sides. Your view is clear in the opening.
task response
The points about finding work people like and learning useful skills are relevant and well chosen.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear idea, and the move from the good side to the bad side is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words, such as “For instance”, “Besides”, and “However”, to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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