IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand human's life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays, few
people
Use synonyms
 assert that we can't
taught
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 anything from our past
life
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
history
Use synonyms
 is a valuable source of knowledge to understand
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
history
Use synonyms
 isn't necessary, and we can't learn from the past.
People
Use synonyms
 may think that way, because
life
Use synonyms
 has changed
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 from the past, and in some countries, war damaged their past and
history
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
tunisia
Capitalize the proper name
Tunisia
show examples
, most
people
Use synonyms
 have travelled to
europe
Capitalize the proper name
Europe
show examples
 and
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 their lifestyle to european lifestyle.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
history
Use synonyms
 and past
life
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no longer important for some
people
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others are still holding
by
Change preposition
on to
show examples
 their past and their traditional habits, because some families still
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 their children about their past.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 95% of
palestinian
Correct subject-verb agreement
Palestinians
show examples
 have travelled from
palestine
Capitalize the proper name
Palestine
show examples
 after the war, some
palestinian
Fix the agreement mistake
Palestinians
show examples
 are still
holding
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
 by their
history
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
history
Use synonyms
 and
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 are crucial for other
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 we discussed both different views, I believe that
history
Use synonyms
 and past
life
Use synonyms
 are still important and a valuable source of information.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Discuss both sides more fully. The first side needs a clear reason why past events may not help people today, such as new technology, new jobs, or new ways of life.
task response
Make your own view clearer in the main body, not only in the last part. Explain why history is useful and give one clear example, such as how past wars can help countries avoid the same mistakes.
task response
Your examples need more support. Explain how the example of Tunisia shows that people cannot learn from history. Also, be careful: people moving to Europe does not mean that their history is not important.
task response
The Palestine example is linked to the topic, but it needs a fuller explanation. Say what people learn from their history and how this helps their lives today.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, first view, second view, and conclusion. Keep this order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a reason, an example, and an explanation of the example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are too simple. Do not use 'Therefore' when the next sentence only repeats the point. Use it only when you show a clear result.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect more closely to the question. For example, after each example, write one sentence that says exactly what it teaches us about the value of history.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion in the conclusion.
task response
You use real country examples, which shows an effort to make your ideas more real.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs for each view.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader that both views will be discussed.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • learn from past mistakes
  • a valuable source of information
  • modern-day challenges
  • rapid technological change
  • social values
  • historical records
  • biased accounts
  • repeat the mistakes of the past
  • draw lessons from history
  • economic crisis
  • public health measures
  • environmental damage
  • government policy
  • cultural identity
  • a broader perspective
  • make informed decisions
  • adapt past lessons
  • current circumstances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: