IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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i thik
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I think
 the
poullsins
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pollutants
 will be beiegger so it it wuill mnbe harder to
lkive
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live
 and
extened
Wrong verb form
extend
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 with youre falkimiy
however
Linking Words
 you will get
axsess
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access
 to
maneplacesec
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amenities
such
Linking Words
 as coffie shop and so on . so ithin
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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 the but some effort to
memiez
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remember
 the
using
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use
 of
cars
Punctuation problem
cars,
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 the
sity
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city
 will turn
just
Verb problem
out just
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 fine.althu the pullotion will still be out there in the air we
breath
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breathe
. so pepole should be carefull and wear masks so they protect them self.and that why some peaple tens to live in small city.because it will be easyer to ger comnfterble around and knew the people around you .so my advice to the peple who want to live in lace with a familey they should peck a small city.to avoid all the tocxic around you.and forgot to meansion it more dangers to live in big city and the reason bhid it is youre gnna be an high strees most of time .youre familey and realishenship that you have will may gat broke bacause of that so it not a thing to play with or not taking it seariosly.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first lines. For example: “I agree that big cities can be bad for health, mainly because of air pollution and stress.” Then keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Give two main reasons and explain each one. You mention pollution, stress, and danger, but these ideas need more detail. Say how pollution can cause breathing problems and how stress can affect sleep or family life.
task response
Use one clear real-life example for each main point. For example, people who live near busy roads may breathe more dirty air, while people in a small town may walk more and feel less stress.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas into clear paragraphs: an opening paragraph, one paragraph about pollution, one about stress and safety, and a final paragraph with your view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with a simple main idea. For example: “First, air pollution is a serious health problem in big cities.” This helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly, such as “First,” “Also,” “However,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.” Do not put too many different ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make your final paragraph clear and short. Repeat your main view and give a direct answer to the question, rather than giving only advice about where families should live.
task response
You give a clear idea that pollution and stress can make life in big cities hard.
task response
You also show that big cities have good points, such as more places to visit and use.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a clear ending idea: small cities may be better for families.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect ideas with words such as “however,” “because,” and “although.”
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
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