IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employees do to make their life easier?

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Introduction
These days the majority of people have to work longer
time
Check wording
hours
show examples
, which
making
Wrong verb form
makes
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 them so streesful than in the past
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
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 we will discuss
this
Linking Words
 subject and provide reasons to make their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 smoother.
Body paragraph 1
The first
questtion
Correct your spelling
question
 that everyone could ask is what do you do for a living? which is the right question because it depends on the nature of the work, employees have to do multiple tasks
otherwise
Linking Words
 they will be get fired or could
also
Linking Words
 lead to cutting from their salaries, To exemplify
this
Linking Words
 point, Anderson his primary
job
Use synonyms
 is to deliver papers to his CEO if he missed a paper that can cause a serious danger to the company so his
job
Use synonyms
 is very senstive, so Anderson can change his
job
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 seeking for easy life or stick with his current one and try ro adapt with it.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, workload could make staff members get lost
,
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;
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on the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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 the companies should try to make it easier for staff
, it
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. It
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 is a
win win
Correct your spelling
win-win
 for both the company get a staff
member
Punctuation problem
member,
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 that if productive and the employee
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 his peace of mind.
no
Capitalize the word
No
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 need for
hursh
Correct your spelling
harsh
 tasks.
For example
Linking Words
, an employee was dealing with his
job
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 like he was on a picnic,
Mastering
Fix capitalization
mastering
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 to deliver tasks and smiling
to
Change preposition
at
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 his managers and supervisors
which
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, which
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causes
Wrong verb form
caused
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 him to get a
pomotion
Correct your spelling
promotion
 later because he
accept
Wrong verb form
accepted
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 his
job
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 and was not
complining
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complaining
 about it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I suggest every human who is coming to the market open
you
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 heart and do not escalate every
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 on
your
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 path imagin the
job
Use synonyms
 as
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is your friend and
you
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 career as
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is your road to a trip.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Give two or three main reasons why people work longer, such as high living costs, too much work, or fear of losing a job. Then give clear actions that employees can take, such as making a work plan, taking short breaks, talking to a manager, or setting work hours.
task response
Keep the focus on employees. The essay often talks about what companies should do, but the question asks what employees can do. You can still mention managers, but make employee actions the main part.
task response
Use examples that clearly show the main idea. The story about Anderson is hard to follow and does not show a common reason for long work hours. Give a simple, real-life example instead, such as a worker who has many tasks and makes a daily plan to finish them on time.
task response
Make each main point fully clear. Explain why a cause leads to stress, then explain how the suggested action can make life easier. This will make your ideas stronger and more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, reasons, actions for employees, and conclusion. At present, the second main paragraph mixes company actions and employee actions, so the essay is less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main idea. For example: "One reason is that workers have too many tasks." Then explain it and add one example. Do not move to a new idea until the first one is finished.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: "First", "Another reason", "As a result", "For example", and "In conclusion". Also, do not join many full ideas with commas. Use full stops to make shorter, clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction should state the two parts of the essay more directly. The conclusion should briefly repeat the main reasons and the main actions, rather than giving a new message about seeing work as a friend.
task response
You try to give reasons for stress at work and offer ways to deal with it. You also use examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion. Words such as "Furthermore", "For example", and "In conclusion" show an effort to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive job market
  • High expectations
  • Advancement of technology
  • Blurring the lines between work and personal life
  • Cost of living
  • Additional income sources
  • Organizational structures
  • Lean workforce
  • Time management
  • Flexible working hours
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Supportive work culture
  • Disconnect from work
  • Regular breaks
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