Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Giver reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

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Introduction
Some people think that teaching
children
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at
home
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is better for their development,
while
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others think
children
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should go to
school
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. Both methods have some advantages, but I think going to
school
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is better for most
children
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.
Body paragraph 1
First,
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teaching
children
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at
home
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can be good because parents can give their
children
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more attention. They can teach them
according to
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their level and spend more time on difficult subjects.
Also
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,
children
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can study in a comfortable place at
home
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.
For example
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, if a child has problems with mathematics, the parents can explain the lessons again.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, going to
school
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also
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has many advantages.
Children
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can learn many subjects from teachers who have good knowledge. They can
also
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meet other
children
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and make friends.
This
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can help them learn how to communicate and work with other people.
For example
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, students can work together in class and help each other with their homework.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, I think
school
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is better because
children
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need education and
also
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need to communicate with other
children
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.
Although
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studying at
home
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can be useful,
school
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gives
children
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more opportunities to learn and develop.
Conclusion
In conclusion, teaching
children
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at
home
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has some benefits, especially giving
children
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more attention,
while
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school
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helps
children
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learn and develop their social skills. I believe that going to
school
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is the better choice.

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task response
You answer all parts of the question. To make your ideas stronger, explain more about why home study may help a child. For example, say how a child can learn at a speed that is right for them.
task response
Your own view is clear: school is better for most children. Add one more clear reason for this view, such as school rules, group work, or help from trained teachers.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas, but they are quite short. Give more detail. For example, explain how group work helps children share ideas, listen, and solve a task together.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: home study, school, your view, and an ending. Keep using this simple plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to show how ideas join. You use “First”, “Also”, “However”, and “For example” well. You could also use “In addition”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand” when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, such as children learning and developing. Try to add new detail instead of saying the same point again. This will make each paragraph more useful.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each main point and your final view even clearer. After the school paragraph, state that these social skills are hard to get from home study alone.
task response
You discuss both home teaching and school, and you clearly give your own view.
task response
The examples about maths help at home and class work at school are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and ending are clear and directly answer the question.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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