IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In
this
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 day and age, many
people
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 only care about the
price
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 of their
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of the process of making it.
However
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, from my point of view,
this
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 is only partly true, and there are several factors that impact
people
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's decisions when shopping for
food
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.
Body paragraph 1
In spite of the important role of
food
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price
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 in our
food
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 purchasing behaviour, most
people
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 still consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the production of
food
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 they choose. Nowadays, the
food
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 market provides us with plenty of choices for each kind of product. And when consumers are wondering which one they should buy, they tend to pick popular brands' products, which seem having hygene proceduce was certificated by a third party, with an equivalent or event slighly higher
price
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 tag.
For example
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, in a supermarket, between Nestle instant coffee and an unknown brand's instant coffee at the same
price
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, the buyer's decision
almost
Verb problem
will almost
show examples
 definitely
is
Wrong verb form
be
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 the Nestle coffee.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, in modern life,
people
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 not only care about how their
food
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 costs, but
also
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 consider health benefits and
food
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 safety. Many consumers are now willing to pay more for organic fruits, vegetables and eggs or meat produced without excessive use of fertilisers and pesticides,
instead
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 of random products in the local market, because they believe these are healthier and safer.
Besides
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, in Vietnam,
food
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 safety is becoming a crucial issue. Wives are
also
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 more careful about checking ingredients and origins of
food
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, ensuring there is nothing that could harm their family.
For example
Linking Words
, vegetables and fruits with
traceability
Correct article usage
a traceability
show examples
 QR code are now being preferred, even though their cost is higher than the tradition one.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
food
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 prices often are the first concern, but are not the only factor shaping the consumers' behaviour. Before making a purchase, shoppers
also
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 consider the
food
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 processing methods and whether the
food
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 is nutritious and safe. Ultimately,
food
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 choices should be based on individual needs and financial capabilities.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to how true the statement is. You say it is only partly true, but the first body paragraph says most people care about how food is made. Explain more clearly which group cares mainly about price and which group cares more about safety or health.
task response
Develop the point about price. Say why price is very important, for example, for people with low pay, large families, or people who buy food every day. This will make your answer more balanced.
task response
Your examples are useful, but make the link to your main idea direct. The coffee example shows that people may trust a well-known name, while the QR code example shows concern about where food comes from.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each body paragraph state its main point more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Do not begin a new sentence with "And" in formal writing. Join it to the sentence before, or use a link such as "When" or "In addition".
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: "Price is important; however, it is not the only point." Then explain health, safety, brand trust, and where food comes from in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Some wording makes the meaning hard to follow, such as "consider about," "seem having," and "hygene proceduce was certificated." Use short, clear sentences: "They also consider how the food is made. They may choose brands that have safety checks."
task response
You answer both parts of the question: whether price is the main concern and what else affects food choices.
task response
You give relevant reasons, including health, safety, brand name, and the origin of food.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to the main idea that price matters but is not the only influence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • household budget
  • food bills
  • affordable prices
  • cost-conscious consumers
  • basic necessities
  • food production methods
  • animal welfare
  • organic produce
  • free-range eggs
  • locally sourced food
  • environmental impact
  • carbon footprint
  • ready-made meals
  • nutritional value
  • check food labels
  • freshness and quality
  • brand reputation
  • ethical consumer choice
  • special offers
  • tight budget
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