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Writing Samples
Band 4

some people see that children should focus on academic subjects at school, but others think that schools should also teach practical life skills. give your opinion.

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Introduction
It's often argued that children should focus mainly on academic studies at
school
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that classes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teach practical
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with the idea that schools must apply to teach practical
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
along with
show examples
 academic subjects
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 for the
students
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.
Body paragraph 1
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons for my perspective.
Body paragraph 2
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One
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, there are several reasons why some people consider that children should focus primarily on learning academic courses from their teachers at
school
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. The main reason is that the education
based
Verb problem
is based
show examples
 on important
skills
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 that are related to academic educational programs, so there is no need to take more time between
classess
Correct your spelling
classes
 to teach
students
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 practical activity .
For example
Linking Words
: the government
school
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 in Saudi Arabia had
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 time for all general
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, the class starting and
finishing for
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 every day with courses on the schedule,
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 subject related only to academic
skills
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.
Body paragraph 3
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One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand, others consider that schools
essential
Verb problem
are essential
show examples
 to provide the practical activity with
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
 program of studies on halls.
One
Use synonyms
 important reason is that the kids' behaviour has grown up.
Linking Words
Such as,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
PNU
school
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 is a special educational
,
Check wording
institution, in
show examples
in
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 they provide the curriculum subject on first 5 classes on schedule. After that, the student must learn new practical
growth
Check wording
skills
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
From my perspective, I believe that
students
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' knowledge is important to teach practical
life
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skills
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 for
students
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are valid arguments for both views,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I personally believe that the practical
life
Use synonyms
skills
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 are more significant for our kids in the world for the reasons noted above.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the ministry
most be
Verb problem
must
show examples
 take
unorgnized
Correct your spelling
organised
 tours to kids
school
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 for sure about applying
this
Linking Words
 skils.

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task response
Your main view is clear: schools should teach life skills as well as school subjects. However, explain this view more fully. Say which life skills matter, such as cooking, money use, first aid, and time use, and show how they help children in real life.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a full example. The Saudi Arabia and PNU examples are hard to understand and do not clearly prove your point. Use simple, clear examples that directly support your view.
task response
The first body part explains the other view, but it needs a stronger reason. Then clearly say why life skills should still be taught, even when school time is limited.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion, which gives it a clear basic shape. Make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Write “On the one hand” and “On the other hand”. Avoid starting many sentences with “For example”, “Such as”, or “Additionally” when the link is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the ideas are not in a clear order. Start with a topic sentence, then give a reason, then an example, and finally explain the example.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same idea in the introduction, opinion paragraph, and conclusion. Use the middle paragraphs to add new support for your view.
task response
You give a clear personal view and keep this view until the end.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, not only one side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph breaks and includes both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking phrases such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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