IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a European survey into young people's expectations for change in five different areas of life in the next 20 years. They were asked if they thought things would improve or get worse.

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The chart below shows the results of a European survey into young people's expectations for change in five different areas of life in the next 20 years. They were asked if they thought things would improve or get worse.
The bar chart illustrates the expectations for change in five different areas of life after two decades, and it
also
Linking Words
 shows whether people believe it is going to improve or get worse.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of the industries are expected to get worse rather than improve, except for communication between people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, communication between people is the only area
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expected to improve
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 by 54%.
While
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 of food is foretold to decrease,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 49% to 51%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, other industries are predicted to worsen rather than improve,
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of water, air in cities, and
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of
human
Check wording
humans
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend in
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
f
Correct your spelling
of
 air in cities, to be more specific
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 is predicted to get worse from 23% to 77%. Meanwhile, the
remained
Replace the word
remaining
 industries,
such
Linking Words
 as
quality
Use synonyms
 of water and
health
Punctuation problem
health,
show examples
 are
foretold
Wrong verb form
forecast
show examples
 to fall
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 from 40% to 60%, and for health
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 42% to 58%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 4 times.
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