IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

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Nowadays, global warming and significant continuously rise in sea levels have become one of the biggest threats to humanity.
Although
Linking Words
 these issues can lead to several problems
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 crop shortages and extreme
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
 conditions, I believe that these problems can be addressed by providing more opportunities for planting
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and improving urban planning. One of the major problems caused by global warming is reduced agricultural productivity.
In other words
Linking Words
, extremely hot weather can increase evaporation, leading to water shortages
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 it harder for plants to grow.
Excesseve
Correct your spelling
Excessive
 heat can damage crops, reduce photosynthesis, and shorten
growen
Replace the word
growing
 seasons, resulting
lower
Change preposition
in lower
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 crops yeald.
For example
Linking Words
, rice, wheat, and maize can produce smaller yields when temperatures become too high during important stages of growth. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 evident that poor harvests are a serious problem which is caused by global warming.

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task response
Your answer starts both parts of the task, but it is not complete. You explain one problem only. Add a full paragraph about sea level rise, such as floods, loss of homes, and harm to coastal land. Then add clear solution paragraphs for both farming and sea level rise.
task response
Make your solutions more exact. “More opportunities for planting” is not clear. Say who should act and how: governments can fund heat-safe crops, save water, and help farmers use better watering systems. For sea level rise, cities can build sea walls, move homes from high-risk areas, and improve flood plans.
task response
Your rice, wheat, and maize example is useful and linked to the main point. Add one short example for sea level rise too, for example: low coastal areas can face more floods and salt water can harm farm land.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph has a clear main idea and a good order: heat causes less water, then crop harm, then lower food output. Keep this same clear order in each new paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening gives a clear view, but the essay stops before the plan is fully shown. Add body paragraphs for the other problem and the solutions, then finish with a short ending that repeats the main problems and actions.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to make the cause and result easier to follow: “As a result”, “This means that”, “In addition”, and “To deal with this”. Do not put a comma after “such as” in this sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check some word forms and spelling because they can slow the reader: “a continuous rise”, “weather”, “excessive”, “growing seasons”, “resulting in lower crop yields”.
task response
You give a clear problem: very high heat can reduce crop growth and food output. This directly answers the topic.
task response
The example of rice, wheat, and maize is relevant and helps make your point more real.
coherence and cohesion
Your first body paragraph stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The opening clearly names the topic and shows the two main areas you plan to discuss.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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