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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Online communication is becoming more popular than face-to-face communication in many companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantage?

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Introduction
In today's fast-paced
society
Punctuation problem
society,
show examples
 online
communication
Use synonyms
 is becoming more popular than face-to-face
communication
Use synonyms
in
Correct word choice
, and in
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 many companies
has
Correct pronoun usage
, it has
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 become an increasingly urgent concern.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the primary causes of advantages and disadvantages and propose feasible strategies to address the issue effectively.
Body paragraph 1
One of the principal benefits of online
communication
Use synonyms
 is that it’s more flexible and convenient .
This
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 occurs
that
Correct word choice
when
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 workers are able to work from home and information exchange through emails or
videos call
Check wording
video calls
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.
Consequently
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, they can save
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of time and complete their tasks more efficiently. Another compelling factor is that online
communication
Use synonyms
 can serve as a tool for employees to work with colleagues from different countries .
This
Linking Words
 stems from the fact that workers can contact each other faster.
This
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 exacerbated the problem
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some disadvantages to
this
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 form of
communication
Use synonyms
. The most significant one is the lack of direct interaction.
For instance
Linking Words
, when people communicate online, they cannot easily see facial expressions or body language, which can sometimes make it difficult to understand another person's feelings or opinions.
Moreover
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, messages and emails can occasionally cause misunderstandings because they may not clearly show the speaker's tone or intention.
Conclusion
To address
this
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 growing issue, it is essential that governments take
decision
Replace the word
decisive
 action
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 official interaction . It is recommended that
this
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 approach be
priorized
Correct your spelling
prioritised
 because they can express and understand clearly.

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task response
Answer the main question clearly. Say if the good points are stronger than the bad points, and keep this same view in the whole essay.
task response
Do not write about causes or ways to solve the issue. The question asks you to compare good and bad points.
task response
Give a clearer real work example. For example, a team in two countries can use video calls to save travel time, but they may still need face-to-face talks for hard or personal issues.
task response
Make the last part a conclusion, not advice for governments. State your final view and briefly say why.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, main good point, main bad point, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it and add an example before moving to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. For example, "This exacerbated the problem" does not fit after the point about faster contact. Use "However" to introduce the bad point instead.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long first sentences. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
You include both good and bad points of online communication, such as saving time and the lack of body language.
task response
Your example about facial expressions, body language, tone, and misunderstanding is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs, and you use some useful linking words such as "Consequently", "For instance", and "Moreover".
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move from benefits to problems, which gives the essay a basic clear order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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