IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The maps display how the café changes after it was redeveloped. It compares how
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is now and
as
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 before
redisign
Correct your spelling
redesign
. First of
all
Punctuation problem
all,
show examples
 before the modifications, we can see that there was a kitchen and a serving
area
Use synonyms
 at the top
left hand
Correct your spelling
left-hand
 corner of the café.
Then
Linking Words
, in the
midle
Correct your spelling
middle
, there was the
seatting
Correct your spelling
seating
area
Use synonyms
, and just above, two staff dining rooms. After that, just at the bottom of the entrance, there was
bin
Correct article usage
a bin
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there were the toilets.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 we can see that now, the bins have been changed into recycling bins.
In addition
Linking Words
, the staff dining rooms have been replaced with a
take away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
 food and a coffee bar.
Although
Linking Words
 the seating
area
Use synonyms
 hasn't been
modificated
Correct your spelling
modified
, on the left side, a salad bar has been added. At the top left-hand corner, the kitchen remains the same,
while
Linking Words
 the serving
area
Use synonyms
 has been transformed into
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
show examples
 meals
.
Check wording
area.
show examples
Finally
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 outdoor seating
area
Use synonyms
 and a barbecue have been constructed at the bottom of the café.

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task response
Give a clear overall view after the first sentence. Say that the café now has more food choices and new outside space, while the kitchen and main seating stay in place.
task response
Cover all main changes in a more exact way. Check the plan for the place of the new food bar, coffee bar, salad bar, outside seats, and barbecue before you write.
task response
Use clear comparison words, such as “was changed into”, “was replaced by”, “remained”, and “was added”. This will make the before-and-now changes easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, overall view, details of the inside, and details of the outside. This will give the report a clearer shape.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use time-order words such as “Then” and “After that” for a map. Group ideas by area instead: top left, middle, left side, and outside.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and clear. For example, change “It compares how as it is now and as it is before” to “The plans compare the café before and after its redesign.”
coherence and cohesion
Check key words and spelling: “redesign”, “middle”, “seating”, “modified”, “outdoor”, “bins”, and “takeaway”. Also use “an outdoor seating area”, not “a outdoor seating area”.
task response
You describe several important changes, including the recycling bins, food and coffee areas, salad bar, hot meals area, and the new outside space.
task response
You also point out that the kitchen and the main seating area stayed the same, which is an important comparison.
coherence and cohesion
The report follows the space in a mostly clear way, moving from the top left area to the middle and then to the lower part.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful change language, such as “have been replaced”, “has been added”, “remains the same”, and “has been transformed”.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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