IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, family members work together in their family business. Do you think family businesses have more advantages than disadvantages?

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I do think
family owned
Correct your spelling
family-owned
 businesses have more advantages than disadvantages. For businesses
ran
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 by family members, the members feel a strong sense of pride for the
business
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in that
regard
Add a comma
regard,
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 they are more vested in the positive outcome of the
business
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 if the
business
Use synonyms
 has
primarly
Correct your spelling
primarily
 employees running the
business
Use synonyms
, for them it is just a
pay-check
Correct your spelling
paycheck
. The success
of
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 failure of the
business
Use synonyms
 is not their responsibility.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 it
may
Wrong verb form
is
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 less likely
be
Verb problem
apply
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that a
family owned
Check wording
family-owned business
show examples
 will fail. One may argue
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 that the family members may not
posess
Correct your spelling
possess
 the required skill set for a particular job and that may spell disaster for the
company
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
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 it will be best to outsource the job to more qualified candidates. As true as
this
Linking Words
 may be, the family has the option of choosing a member to be trained to fill specific roles. Another advantage of a
family owned
Correct your spelling
family-owned
business
Use synonyms
 is
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 the children are exposed to the
business
Use synonyms
 from very early in their lives. They are able to experience the inner workings of the
company
Use synonyms
 from different levels,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 in turn would translate into a greater appreciation for the
business
Use synonyms
. Currently I work for a large
company
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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by
Verb problem
is, by
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in
Correct word choice
and
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 large
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
family owned
Correct your spelling
family-owned
company
Use synonyms
. The
company
Use synonyms
 has been around for more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 50 years, they have weathered many different economic climates and are able to still remain relevant in the
business
Use synonyms
 sphere.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the
business
Use synonyms
 has remained in the family. With its humble beginings the
business
Use synonyms
 has been able to generate wealth for over 4 generations.

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task response
Your answer has a clear view: family firms have more good points than bad points. Keep this view clear in every part of the essay. Add one short final paragraph that says your main view again and sums up the two main reasons.
task response
You give two main points: family members care more about the firm, and children can learn about it from a young age. Explain each point a little more. For example, say how strong care can lead to more hard work, better long-term plans, and less staff change.
task response
You mention a possible bad point: some family members may not have the right skills. This is useful, but the reply is not fully strong. Say that the firm can hire skilled people from outside as well as train family members. This would make your view more fair and clear.
task response
Your work example is relevant and helps your ideas. However, do not say that a company stays strong mainly because it is family owned. Give other clear reasons from the example, such as long-term plans, careful use of money, or trust between family members.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: introduction, first good point, second good point with the bad point, and conclusion. This will make the answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a clear first sentence. For example: “The main benefit of a family business is that owners care deeply about its success.” Then explain the idea and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or joined in a weak way. Split them into shorter sentences. For example, instead of “They are able to experience the inner workings of the company from different levels, this in turn would translate...”, write two sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “However”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” can show the link between ideas. Do not use a comma after “business is” in “Another advantage of a family owned business is, the children...”.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word form and spelling issues because they can make ideas less smooth: “family-owned”, “run by”, “primarily”, “possess”, “more than”, and “beginnings”.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You include both good points and a possible bad point, so the answer shows some balance.
task response
The real work example makes the topic feel more real and supports your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a mostly clear order: first a good point, then a bad point and reply, then another good point and an example.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “Meanwhile”, “Therefore”, “However”, and “Hence”, to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • family
  • business
  • work
  • together
  • trust
  • decide
  • plan
  • time
  • money
  • grow
  • job
  • shop
  • farm
  • bakery
  • store
  • people
  • rule
  • role
  • outside
  • help
  • new
  • idea
  • problem
  • conflict
  • talk
  • listen
  • share
  • care
  • team
  • goal
  • future
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • learn
  • train
  • work life balance
  • next generation
  • pass on
  • family business
  • local
  • local support
  • generation
  • inherit
  • success
  • manage
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